Playaz Ball

May 13, 2008

Playaz attend Bush wedding; got party started

The Playaz attended the wedding ceremony for the President's daughter Jenna Bush this past weekend, and it was reported a good time was had by all.

Bon performed the ceremony between Jenna and her husband-to-be Henry Hager.

"Will you.....state your name, have.......uh....state your name...... to be your wife and or husband? Will you promise to remain subservient to your husband, to wash his sheets and clean beaver pelts and prepare the beaver haunches for dinner whenever he desires, and endow all your worldly goods to the Playaz as long as you both shall live?" (if so, say: "I will")"

Shortly into the vows, Bon quickly became distracted by the various wildlife on the Crawford, Texas ranch and cut short the ceremony.

Guv'na DJ'ed the reception, and played a vast selection of songs that would appeal to all, including the classic wedding favorite "Strokin'" during the father-daughter dance.

Jenna and Hager will be honeymooning at Playaz Headquarters in the Isle of Palms, South Carolina.

Posted by Phil at 10:44 AM | Comments (9)

May 12, 2008

Look what we found!

Happy Day!

This stuff was just sitting there. Behind a dumpster!! So we took it. Look at it!!!! Can you believe someone would just leave this somewhere??

Well, it ours now. We just wanted you to know.

Posted by Phil at 10:27 AM | Comments (4)

May 7, 2008

President Bush reports that most 3 a.m. phone calls just the Guv'na, drunk

After much speculation and debate amongst current Presidential hopefuls as to which candidate would be best suited to handle a phone call to the White House at 3 a.m., President Bush stated that the vast majority of calls coming in at 3 a.m. are "usually the Guv'na, drunk."

"Might I converse briefly with the President of the United States, m'lady? Yes, I know what time it is. Wake him, post-haste, before I make sick!"

Bush remarked that during his eight years in office, he has probably received thousands of phone calls that have awoken him in the wee hours of the morning, only to discover it is the Guv'na on the other end of the line.

"He is often inebriated, incoherent, and usually demanding something," said Bush. "Often times he is demanding I send out the Presidential motorcade to come pick him up and drive him somewhere...either a brothel or Waffle House or some other god-forsaken place," he added. "God, I wish he'd stop calling so often sometimes."

The President, patiently listening to another of the Guv'na's drunken late-night phone calls

The Guv'na says that he only recalls contacting the President at "reasonable hours" and that the conversations are of "high importance". The President contradicted the Guv'na's statements saying "unless 'high importance' means talking to me for over an hour and a half about how 'that bitch' Condoleeza will never go out on a date with him, or how this mannequin at JC Penney closely resembles Ed McMahon."

The Guv'na most recently telephoned the President at approximately 3:06 a.m. Sunday morning to tell him that he was "his best buddy" and that he should awake the Treasury secretary and have him print off a few sheets of $100 dollar bills and go to Vegas or somewhere.

Posted by Phil at 10:35 AM | Comments (10)

May 5, 2008

'Eight Belles? More like, I-just-ate-Belles,' says Bon after tragic Derby finish

Tragedy be-fell the Kentucky Derby this weekend when runner-up "Eight Belles" went down after the finish line and was summarily put to death by Bon.

"I don't see it as a tragedy at all," said Bon. "Rover will soon be eating the finest tasting horse he's ever had. Eight Belles? More like 'I-just-ate-Belles, and she was delicious', your dog will be saying," added Bon.

Shortly after finishing second behind "Big Brown", the filly collapsed. According to Belle's trainer Larry Jones, it was as if Bon swooped in "out of nowhere".

"We were standing there over her, and next thing we knew, this afro'd gentleman appeared as if out of nowhere and injected Belle in one swift motion. We never even got to say goodbye," Jones said.

Bon assured the trainer that Belle would be going to a better place -- his glue/dog food factory.

"She won't be as good as Barbaro, but in economic times like these, we have to make do," Bon said as he tenderly dragged the horse's lifeless body onto a flatbed truck with his backhoe.

Posted by Phil at 10:02 AM | Comments (12)

May 2, 2008

Pope announces to packed stadium the return of Playaz Ball

Pope Benedict XVI arrived to a packed Turner Field stadium in Atlanta to announce to the masses that Playaz Ball has returned, and to announce that Playaz Ball 2008 has been set for August 20-24th of this year.

Arriving in his "Pope-Mobile", flanked by the Playaz with Technotronic's Pump Up the Jam blaring over the PA system, the Pope spoke to the crowd saying that he "urged Phil with firm resolve" to revive the blog, and that Playaz Ball must go on.