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June 29, 2005

Tac tells Bush: "Get Bin Laden in the Octagon with me for 5 minutes"

Tac informed President George Bush last night that, when captured, he wants just five minutes in the Octagon with Osama Bin Laden.

Bush gave an impassioned speech Tuesday night to the U.S. regarding the war in Afghanistan and Iraq, urging Americans to continue their support for our troops in liberating Iraq, and for our continued search for terrorist Osama Bin Laden.

Tac went a step further, informing Americans shortly after Bush's speech concluded that he wanted to take on Bin Laden personally. "Just give me five minutes," Tac implored the President. "That's all I'll need."

Tac laid out his plan to the citizens of our country that consisted of a series of roundhouse kicks to the face, followed by multiple blows to the abdomen, a choke hold, and a submission tactic that would either break Bin Laden's arm, or force Bin Laden to "tap out". Tac stated, however, that no such sign of surrender would be recognized, and he would then proceed to rip out Bin Laden's wind pipe within said five minute period. "In the Octagon, Bin Laden wouldn't be able to run and hide in one of his cushy caves," Tac said, his voice rising. "I will put an end to his reign of terror once and for all, and it won't take me long."

"C'mon, Mr. President," Tac added. "I'm serious. Just five minutes."

Posted by Phil at June 29, 2005 9:53 PM