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September 27, 2005
Kenny, Larry reach agreement with Kim Jong Il
Kenny Rogers and Larry Holmes recently reached an accord with North Korean leader Kim Jong Il over their stated intent to develop a nuclear program that could involve weapons. In exchange for North Korea's concession to cease further nuclear studies and development of any nuclear weapons program, Kenny, Larry and Kim Jong Il agreed to the following:
- Kenny agrees to perform 3 times per year at the Kim Jong Il Whom We All Love Casino & Resort in beautiful downtown P'yong yang, North Korea.
- Kim Jong Il will be allowed to do his standup act at Dollywood 3 times per year (subject to Kenny obtaining approval from Dolly Parton).
- Larry Holmes agrees to fight a Chinese Panda to the delight of His Highness Kim Jong Il for the Korean Heavyweight Championship no later than December 31, 2005.
All that is needed now is the Playaz' ratification of this agreement for it to be legally binding. Oh, and you're welcome.
Posted by Phil at September 27, 2005 9:10 AM
Comments
if he does, it is Kenny Rogers, or Conway Twitty
Posted by: bon at October 4, 2005 4:33 PM
I guess I missed the "banned" memo. It must be on my desk
somewhere. I think FEMA should become PEMA (Playaz Emergency, etc.)
What PEMA concerns cover could become very interesting. I would think
that jet in the pool would be starters...
Posted by: washingtoncube at October 4, 2005 4:33 PM
Wayne - that's because the FBI alerted us that we need to keep our eye on these Playaz and their moms.
Posted by: DC Cookie at October 4, 2005 4:33 PM
Of course I'm not surprised. I just want to be ready when
everyone starts blaming the Playaz for the government's lack of
response to natural disasters.
Posted by: Wayne at October 4, 2005 4:33 PM
Does it suprise you Wayne?Cube - I'll check it out, but I am not allowed to post, that I am aware of, on CPMC.
Posted by: Phil at October 4, 2005 4:33 PM
We love Phil and the Playaz, Wayne.What?
You think we sit around working all day keeping your federal government
functioning? Not when there's voting going on for the best albume de
musica.
Posted by: washingtoncube at October 4, 2005 4:33 PM
P.S. I just noticed over at the Cleveland Park Men's Club,
someone posted in "comments" that Phil would know how to explain away a
pair of mysterious ladies' underwear. Phil? Business calls.
Posted by: Washington Cube at October 4, 2005 4:33 PM
Do most people in DC spend the day reading the Playaz' blog? It seems that way (and we appreciate it).
Posted by: Wayne at October 4, 2005 4:33 PM
I'm sure Kenny tactfully explained to Kim Jong that Six Pack II
had already begun production, and they couldn't re-write the script to
include a part for a Korean Dictator. I'm guessing that's where the
Dollywood offer came in to play.
Posted by: Phil at October 4, 2005 4:33 PM
Surely the agreement must have included efforts to provide
the starving people of North Korea with several tons of food and fixins
from "Kenny Rogers Roasters." I will assume the failure to mention this
key concession in your summary was simply a whiskey-induced oversight.
Posted by: Travis at October 4, 2005 4:33 PM
I cast my vote in favor of ratification Phil. If it is
good enough for Kenny and Larry, then it is good enough for me and the
rest of the world. I am a bit stunned about one thing. I thought the
"Great Leader" would never drop his demand to be in 6 Pack II along
side Kenny. He is known as a cinema afficianado, so there is no doubt
about Kenny's closing skills since he was able to overcome this
stumbling block.
Posted by: bon at October 4, 2005 4:33 PM
Thank you, Mr. Key Rock.
Posted by: Phil at October 4, 2005 4:33 PM
or, "Tight Fittin Jeans".
Posted by: bon at October 4, 2005 4:33 PM
Pimps and whores, cookie. National security concerns.
Posted by: Wayne at October 4, 2005 4:33 PM
The obvious national emergency is the lack of an adequate supply of Kenny Rogers albums.
Posted by: Wayne at October 4, 2005 4:33 PM
Yes - my theme music is more like "Hello, darlin'....."
Posted by: Phil at October 4, 2005 4:33 PM
AUA - It's the jetlag.
Posted by: Phil at October 4, 2005 4:33 PM
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'm just a caveman. I
fell on some ice and later got thawed out by some of your scientists.
Your world frightens and confuses me! Sometimes the honking horns of
your traffic make me want to get out of my BMW.. and run off into the
hills, or wherever.. Sometimes when I get a message on my fax machine,
I wonder: "Did little demons get inside and type it?" I don't know! My
primitive mind can't grasp these concepts. But
there is one thing I do know - when a man like my client Kim Jong
Illin' is so publicly humiliated on the very public Playaz Ball then he
is entitled to no less than 2 million in compensatory damages, and 2
million in punitive damages. Thank you.
Posted by: Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer at October 4, 2005 4:33 PM
I'm shocked that the cartoonishly large heads of Kenny and
Larry both still seem small in comparison to old Kim Jong.
Posted by: A Unique Alias at October 4, 2005 4:33 PM
Now Captain, I am sure you know the playaz reputation as
gunslingers and fighters, but Larry and Kenny found it best to go with
the carrot and stick approach, so we defered to their great wisdom and
understanding on issues such as nuclear non proliferation and North
Korean culture. Those who read this as a sign of weakness, do so at
your own peril.
Posted by: bon at October 4, 2005 4:33 PM
Or Bollywood?
Posted by: DC Cookie at October 4, 2005 4:33 PM
Wouldn't this have been easier if Larry Holmes had just
agreed to not pummel Kim Jong Il, in return for his cooperation? Or are
the Playaz and their mentors pacifists?
Posted by: The Captain at October 4, 2005 4:33 PM
It took me until Saturday to realize that Louisiana was
dysfunctional, but only seconds to see that the Playaz' blog was to
blame for FEMA's state of affairs. We can't get enough, God forbid a
real disaster happens! BTW, can you get me some complimentary tickets
to Dollywood, or a job there?
Posted by: Michael Brown at October 4, 2005 4:33 PM
Remember people, no one understands these issues and the
culture of North Korea quite like Kenny Rogers and Larry Holmes. Even
the playaz had to call in our mentors to get this deal closed, and that
is saying something.
Posted by: bon at October 4, 2005 4:33 PM
I guess we could always send the agreement back with changes.But,
Kenny seemed satisfied. I think Kim may have wanted Kenny to include
'dog' on the menu or something, and that's a line Kenny simply will not
cross.
Posted by: Phil at October 4, 2005 4:33 PM
why is it that every time i visit your blog or see a
comment by you on another blog the budweiser song "real men of genius"
is in my head? do you have your own theme music?
Posted by: new p at October 4, 2005 4:33 PM
COMMENT-DATE: 27/9/05 2:04 PM
The 'ban' has apparently been lifted.Well, as you know, we are called upon in many cases of emergency and to handle National Affairs.I'm sure we'd do an excellent job, just understand that our actions would need to be to the Playaz' benefit (plus payment).Besides, you know we are more or less in charge of the government now anyway.
Posted by: Phil at October 4, 2005 4:33 PM
i am a tad disappointed there was no mention of kenny's
fried chicken huts in this agreement. also, i would think kim jong il
would want an endless supply of platform shoes as a perk of the
agreement.
Posted by: VP of Dior at October 4, 2005 4:33 PM
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