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October 25, 2005
Guv'na shot! Playaz Ball reader suspected in D.C. area assassination attempt
An assassination attempt on the Guv'na's life occurred Tuesday afternoon, after an assailant shot the Guv'na under his left arm while the Guv'na was being escorted out of the Sheraton National hotel in Arlington, Virginia Tuesday.
The Guv'na was attending a fascinating conference Monday and Tuesday in an effort to learn more about optimizing clinical trial data, when shortly following the conference a small crowd had gathered outside the hotel anticipating the Guv'na's appearance after a contest on www.playazball.com had been announced challenging readers to locate the Guv'na.
As the Guv'na approached his limo, five shots rang out, one striking the Guv'na under his third rib and puncturing his lung. The Guv'na was then hurried into his bullet-proof limosine and whisked away to a nearby hospital, where doctors operated on the Guv'na with success, removing the bullet.
Photographers captured a frame-by-frame sequence of the Guv'na as he is hit by the bullet
The shooter was quickly apprehended by the Guv'na's security staff.
It is believed that this man was responsible for the shooting, and is known to be a frequent lurker on the Playaz Ball website.
The bullet narrowly missed the Guv'na's heart, and Guv'na was overheard lamenting the fact that he was not wearing his standard bullet-proof turtleneck. The Guv'na is expected to make a full recovery.
Posted by Phil at October 25, 2005 1:25 PM
Comments
I didn't do it! There's no way I could've safely been back to my office after pulling such a stunt. I think someone must have printed out a copy of my picture and appended it to their face at the scene of the crime. INNOCENT, I SAY!
Posted by: A_Unique_Alias at October 25, 2005 2:21 PM
Just because he 'looks' like a seedy character, AUA is a good apple. As a witness to the crime scene (I was there trying to get the Guvna to give me a Playaz shirt), I thought I recognized the voice behind the AUA mask shouting "no link to your site? how you like 'them' apples?..."
Did I really just use apples twice in one thought?
Posted by: dc_cookie at October 25, 2005 3:18 PM
Yes, Cookie - too many apple references. Makes me suspicious.
As I told AUA, Guv'na could be willing to drop the charges if he purchases a shirt, or he can take his chances with the law.
Posted by: Phil at October 25, 2005 3:30 PM
AUA, I have begun proceedings to have you extradited to Georgia to face trial. Please contact me if you wish to turn yourself in. And be warned, Georgia has its own brand of justice when it comes to protecting the Playaz.
Posted by: Wayne at October 25, 2005 3:41 PM
Looks like he got his playaz hunting card reinstated at ye old wal-marte
Posted by: AsianMistress at October 25, 2005 3:42 PM
Our security detail is so professional! How many times will they continue to save us? Kangols off to these guys.
Posted by: Bon at October 25, 2005 5:03 PM
AUA looks like James Dean in that photo. Wasn't he known for putting out lit cigarettes into his flesh?
Phil? I'll bet you don't know this, but people in D.C. refer to that hotel as "...the Reagan Hilton."
Posted by: Washington Cube at October 25, 2005 10:43 PM
DAMN YOU AUA, now the Playaz will never come and visit. The violent nature of the D.C. area has been proven true once again.
Maybe instead of prosecuting AUA, you can just let Larry Holmes have a sit-down heart to heart with him.
Posted by: The Captain at October 26, 2005 12:03 AM
If by "sit-down heart to heart" you mean "a vicious beating", I think we could work that out.
Posted by: Wayne at October 26, 2005 8:43 AM
Larry does not take kindly to folks messing with his Playaz. Good idea Captain.
Posted by: Bon at October 26, 2005 8:54 AM
Yes Captain, DC's reputation for murder has hit close to home with the Playaz. It may be a while before we can get over it.
Posted by: Phil at October 26, 2005 9:17 AM
My investigative team is onit and we are forming a special Playaz Grand Jury.
FYI, Dick Cheney carries a single shot .38 caliber cane and is reportedly a regular visitor to this blog...
Respectfully enraged,
Fitzmas
Posted by: Patrick J. Fitzgerald at October 26, 2005 2:54 PM
Thanks Patrick, but no thanks. Cheney is more apt to knock off that Catciao fellow than one of the Playaz. He allows us to use his ranch quite frequently, and also gives us free cases of 5W-30 whenever we need it.
Posted by: Phil at October 26, 2005 3:03 PM
Best post yet!
DcLc
Posted by: dclastcall at October 26, 2005 5:18 PM
Well now the Guv'na and Cam'ron have something in common! As long as they both got away with their car and jewelery, then everything is right in the world.
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