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January 22, 2006

Bottle-nosed whale stranded in London successfully put to death by Bon

The bottle-nosed whale that became stranded in the Thames River in London was successfully put to death by Bon earlier today.

After several attempts by concerned citizens, biologists and vets to save the whale, Bon met with British Prime Minister Tony Blair and convinced Blair to allow him to handle the situation.

Blair gives Bon the go ahead to "do what you must do" regarding the whale situation

Bon's strategy was a two-pronged attack. The first step was to confront and taunt the whale, hurling slander and put-downs to shame the whale, which would in turn make him put up less of a fight.

Then Bon merely struck a blow to the whale and he died.

Bon said that it was not a senseless killing, but one that saved the people of England substantial amounts of money that would surely have been wasted from the man-hours, veterinary bills, and resources necessary to try and save the beast. Bon added that the bottle-nosed whale would be served at "Kenny & Bon's Roasters" all across London as the "Thames Fish 'n Chips Special".

Info-graphic

Blair thanked Bon for his diligent efforts in putting an end to this nuisance and allowing London to "get back to work and forget about that bloody whale."

Posted by Phil at January 22, 2006 1:10 PM