« LAPD issue warrant for Bon's arrest in the death of Don Knotts | Main | The Trial of the Century »
March 17, 2006
"Please think of the real Bon...."
Through the miracle of modern technology, I am blogging to you from Sidekick in my Ford Bronco. I understand that images are beginning to be broadcast on television stations across the country, so I have asked Tac to post them for you here, as I intend to keep our loyal followers informed of what is going on.
"As of this morning, Bon is considered a fugitive of justice."
Download Phil's call to the California Highway Patrol
"As Bon's attorney, I am asking Bon to turn himself in. However, I can absolutely assure the police that Bon does not have a fake beard and is definitely not heading to the airport. Thank you."
To Whom It May Concern:First, everyone understand. I have nothing to do with Don Knotts' murder. I loved Don; always have and always will. If we had a problem, it's because I loved Don so much.
Recently, Don and I came to the understanding that for now we were best to spend some time apart, at least for now. Despite our admiration for each other, we were different and that's why we mutually agreed to go our separate ways.
Inside, I had no doubt that in the future we would be close friends. Unlike what has been written in the press, Don and I had a great relationship for most of our lives. Like all long-term relationships, we had a few downs and ups. He was great in "Andy Griffith". Then he took the role of "Mr. Furley" in Three's Company. Probably his 'low-point', if you will. But I digress.
I took the heat after the 911 call came out because that's what I was supposed to do. I did not plead no contest for any other reason but to protect our privacy and was advised it would end the press hype.
At times, I have felt like a battered Playa, but I loved Don; make that clear to everyone. And I would take whatever it took to get him to make the movie "Chicken Little 2", even reversing time to bring him back to life when I originally thought he was dead (the first time).
Don't feel sorry for me. I've had a great life, great friends. Please think of the real Bon and not this lost person.
:)
Posted by Phil at March 17, 2006 10:17 AM
Comments
I hope to god he hid his bloody fire-protectant glove...
Posted by: DC_Cookie at March 17, 2006 12:30 PM
I really hope Bon doesn't own Bruno Magli shoes either.
Posted by: Steve Skalish at March 17, 2006 1:55 PM
Bon would never wear such a thing. Open-toed dress shoes with gold buckles are more Bon's style.
--from my Sidekick on the 405.
Posted by: Phil at March 17, 2006 2:04 PM
Nice of you to plagarize OJ's "suicide" letter. I see more court dates in the works...and instead of Band On the Run, we've got Bon On the Run. What would be truly delicious is if Bon winds up on a Florida golf course with OJ.
Posted by: Washington Cube at March 17, 2006 2:15 PM
P.S....BOTH of them swinging at geese. :)
Posted by: Washington Cube at March 17, 2006 2:15 PM
You think it's copyrighted?
Bon says he was in a hurry and couldn't come up with anything original.
--from my Sidekick, stopping at the In 'N Out Burger.
Posted by: Phil at March 17, 2006 2:22 PM
I can't believe you would hurt the Incredible Mr. Limpet. Well if this goes to trial it would benefit Marsha Clark cuz I'm sure she needs the work.
Posted by: VP of Dior at March 17, 2006 2:54 PM
Wow, this about 900 times more exciting than the NCAA playoffs.
Posted by: Saidah at March 17, 2006 3:38 PM
I'm shell-shocked. Bon wouldn't do this! Somebody must be out the get him and I suspect some militaristic vegan group like PETA or Pamela Anderson (they just don't understand the palette and what a sublime goose/calf/whale liver can do for a man's taste buds and overall satisfaction of life).
There's no way I'm gonna be able to sleep until I see true justice...
Posted by: Wayne Ordinary American at March 17, 2006 4:17 PM
IKLOVE YOU PLAYAZ! I LOVE YOU BON
hatve my babies, bon
Posted by: Rhinestone Cowgirl at March 18, 2006 12:02 AM
Re: Rhinestone's post above. She went out with Velvet and they got very happy. Boobs and crayons were involved. I had several slurry emails waiting for me late last night (which I blogged about). I'm finding her comments all over the place and laughing.
Posted by: Washington Cube at March 18, 2006 2:46 PM
These messages are nothing out of the ordinary for us, as you may have guessed Cube.
Bon says from the backseat he thought she was already having his babies, but now he understands.
Looks like I'm running out of gas, and have used up most of our reserves..
--from my Sidekick, honking and waving at our supporters.
Posted by: Phil at March 18, 2006 2:50 PM
I heard back from Velvet that Rhinestone spied an empty police cruiser last night and her eyes lit up. Thank God Velvet pulled her away, or you and Bon might have had a police escort involving two swoozy girls.
Posted by: Washington Cube at March 18, 2006 4:41 PM
I think I may finally understand what's going on here.
The love that Bon had for Don was the love that dared not speak its name. All those nights that I would return from a hard day's work and find my home reeking of Brut's "Essence of Man," it was merely a cover. The day I found a kangol on my hat rack - - it was so obvious! I was such a fool.
RC was helping cover up for the Brokeback Playa.
Posted by: AUA at March 19, 2006 2:26 AM
AUA told me this morning he left drunk comments last night too. Boy, his version of "drunk comment" is about 1,000 times more legible than mine. ;)
Oh, and I asked Bon to have MY babies. I guess my understanding of basic human anatomy gets a little whack when I'm tipsydoodle.
Posted by: Rhinestone Cowgirl at March 19, 2006 1:51 PM
Been a while since I've checked in on this blog. I'm horrified about Bon!
Posted by: Buggy at March 19, 2006 7:52 PM
Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery...
Posted by: Rory Roybal at December 11, 2006 5:14 AM
Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (£22m) film deal starring his character Bruno...
Posted by: Zain Mitchel at December 11, 2006 5:27 AM
Jonathan Ross is dubbed "risque" by Ofcom but not in breach of rules over an interview with David Cameron...
Posted by: Maxim Golding at December 11, 2006 5:39 AM
The Red Hot Chili Peppers are leading the way at this years MTV Europe music awards with four nominations...
Posted by: Vernon Ferrari at December 11, 2006 5:53 AM
Madonna says she may adopt another child from abroad following her proposed adoption of a Malawian boy...
Posted by: Deon Pleasant at December 11, 2006 7:10 AM
Madonna says she may adopt another child from abroad following her proposed adoption of a Malawian boy...
Posted by: Deon Pleasant at December 11, 2006 7:11 AM
Jonathan Ross is dubbed "risque" by Ofcom but not in breach of rules over an interview with David Cameron...
Posted by: Brice Winn at December 11, 2006 7:26 AM
A musical about the witches from The Wizard of Oz breaks West End box office records, its producers say...
Posted by: Abram Kunkel at December 11, 2006 8:45 AM
The Rolling Stones cancel a gig in Hawaii and postpone other tour dates as Mick Jagger suffers throat troubles...
Posted by: Santiago Trowbridge at December 11, 2006 9:56 AM
Madonna says she may adopt another child from abroad following her proposed adoption of a Malawian boy...
Posted by: Gilberto Mckinnon at December 11, 2006 10:09 AM
Madonna says she may adopt another child from abroad following her proposed adoption of a Malawian boy...
Posted by: Gilberto Mckinnon at December 11, 2006 10:11 AM
The judge who put coded messages in his Da Vinci Code plagiarism trial ruling has written another...
Posted by: Mohamed Schrader at December 11, 2006 1:04 PM
Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery...
Posted by: Russell Joy at December 11, 2006 10:47 PM
Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84...
Posted by: Asher Burchett at December 13, 2006 12:12 PM
TV host Oprah Winfrey gives audience members $1,000 (£526) each to donate to a charitable cause...
Posted by: Peter Tibbs at December 13, 2006 6:35 PM
TV host Oprah Winfrey gives audience members $1,000 (£526) each to donate to a charitable cause...
Posted by: Grayson Holloman at December 13, 2006 7:12 PM
Veteran actor William Franklyn, known for voicing the 1960s Schweppes TV adverts, dies aged 81...
Posted by: Ayden Curtin at December 13, 2006 7:37 PM
Record company EMI sign a deal with the estate of crooner Dean Martin to use the singer's likeness...
Posted by: Gerald Martindale at December 17, 2006 8:32 PM
London-born rapper Sway is to be honoured at the BET Hip-Hop awards in the US...
Posted by: Oliver Sage at December 18, 2006 10:25 AM
TV host Oprah Winfrey gives audience members $1,000 (£526) each to donate to a charitable cause...
Posted by: Parker Quinlan at December 18, 2006 11:14 AM
London-born rapper Sway is to be honoured at the BET Hip-Hop awards in the US...
Posted by: Nathan Grenier at December 18, 2006 12:07 PM
Colombia's vice president is "baffled" by Kate Moss's success following cocaine allegations...
Posted by: Zachariah New at December 18, 2006 12:34 PM
The first stage of a £150m investment in regional museums is praised for boosting visitor numbers...
Posted by: Kai Duckett at December 18, 2006 12:56 PM
The Rolling Stones cancel a gig in Hawaii and postpone other tour dates as Mick Jagger suffers throat troubles...
Posted by: Kurt Hodge at December 18, 2006 1:19 PM
Colombia's vice president is "baffled" by Kate Moss's success following cocaine allegations...
Posted by: Austin Guzman at December 18, 2006 1:45 PM
Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84...
Posted by: Adolfo Lashley at December 18, 2006 3:04 PM
Singer George Michael lends the piano on which John Lennon wrote Imagine to an anti-war exhibition...
Posted by: Korey Horan at December 18, 2006 4:27 PM
Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84...
Posted by: Jamarion Conti at December 18, 2006 4:58 PM
The Red Hot Chili Peppers are leading the way at this years MTV Europe music awards with four nominations...
Posted by: Cole Jansen at December 18, 2006 5:44 PM
The judge who put coded messages in his Da Vinci Code plagiarism trial ruling has written another...
Posted by: Wayne Bolt at December 18, 2006 6:20 PM
The Rolling Stones postpone a show in the US to allow singer Sir Mick Jagger time to rest his voice...
Posted by: Kelly Martinez at December 18, 2006 6:35 PM
Pop trio Atomic Kitten will reform to play a concert in support of jailed Liverpool football fan Michael Shields...
Posted by: Tristen Porterfield at December 18, 2006 6:48 PM
Doctor Who takes three prizes at the National Television Awards in a repeat of its success last year...
Posted by: Jermaine Nava at December 18, 2006 7:01 PM
Madonna says she may adopt another child from abroad following her proposed adoption of a Malawian boy...
Posted by: Griffin Diehl at December 18, 2006 7:13 PM
Microsoft and Peter Jackson postpone the making of a film based on the Halo video game after backers pull out...
Posted by: Larry Vickery at December 18, 2006 7:25 PM
Jonathan Ross is dubbed "risque" by Ofcom but not in breach of rules over an interview with David Cameron...
Posted by: Mike Moreno at December 18, 2006 7:51 PM
The judge who put coded messages in his Da Vinci Code plagiarism trial ruling has written another...
Posted by: Kaden Pelletier at December 18, 2006 8:17 PM
Jonathan Ross is dubbed "risque" by Ofcom but not in breach of rules over an interview with David Cameron...
Posted by: Reese Daniel at December 18, 2006 8:31 PM
Jonathan Ross is dubbed "risque" by Ofcom but not in breach of rules over an interview with David Cameron...
Posted by: Reese Daniel at December 18, 2006 8:32 PM
Jonathan Ross is dubbed "risque" by Ofcom but not in breach of rules over an interview with David Cameron...
Posted by: Zane Lucas at December 18, 2006 8:46 PM
Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84...
Posted by: Leonard Muhammad at December 18, 2006 10:45 PM
Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84...
Posted by: Leonard Muhammad at December 18, 2006 10:47 PM
William Styron, whose Holocaust novel Sophie's Choice became a film and an opera, has died, aged 81...
Posted by: Dominique Mcgrath at December 18, 2006 11:00 PM
Social networking site MySpace is to block users from uploading copyrighted music to its pages...
Posted by: Steve Boling at December 18, 2006 11:12 PM
Social networking site MySpace is to block users from uploading copyrighted music to its pages...
Posted by: Steve Boling at December 18, 2006 11:12 PM
Social networking site MySpace is to block users from uploading copyrighted music to its pages...
Posted by: Jadon Magana at December 19, 2006 12:56 AM
Madonna says she may adopt another child from abroad following her proposed adoption of a Malawian boy...
Posted by: Stanley Hawkins at December 19, 2006 1:12 AM
Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (£22m) film deal starring his character Bruno...
Posted by: Reece Goodin at December 19, 2006 1:23 AM
Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (£22m) film deal starring his character Bruno...
Posted by: Reece Goodin at December 19, 2006 1:23 AM
Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (£22m) film deal starring his character Bruno...
Posted by: Reece Goodin at December 19, 2006 1:23 AM
Doctor Who takes three prizes at the National Television Awards in a repeat of its success last year...
Posted by: Ashton Raynor at December 19, 2006 1:34 AM
Madonna says she may adopt another child from abroad following her proposed adoption of a Malawian boy...
Posted by: Santos Magee at December 19, 2006 1:45 AM
Veteran game show host Bob Barker is stepping down from hosting The Price is Right after 35 years...
Posted by: Jalen Rubio at December 19, 2006 2:07 AM
Veteran game show host Bob Barker is stepping down from hosting The Price is Right after 35 years...
Posted by: Jalen Rubio at December 19, 2006 2:08 AM
The first stage of a £150m investment in regional museums is praised for boosting visitor numbers...
Posted by: Silas Tolliver at December 19, 2006 2:19 AM
The first stage of a £150m investment in regional museums is praised for boosting visitor numbers...
Posted by: Silas Tolliver at December 19, 2006 2:19 AM
Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery...
Posted by: Jeffery Cato at December 19, 2006 3:13 AM
TV host Oprah Winfrey gives audience members $1,000 (£526) each to donate to a charitable cause...
Posted by: Jack Lundgren at December 19, 2006 3:24 AM
TV host Oprah Winfrey gives audience members $1,000 (£526) each to donate to a charitable cause...
Posted by: Jack Lundgren at December 19, 2006 3:24 AM
The first stage of a £150m investment in regional museums is praised for boosting visitor numbers...
Posted by: Payton Shannon at December 19, 2006 3:36 AM
The Rolling Stones cancel a gig in Hawaii and postpone other tour dates as Mick Jagger suffers throat troubles...
Posted by: Austen Barclay at December 19, 2006 3:46 AM
Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84...
Posted by: Harley Santiago at December 19, 2006 3:58 AM
Alec Baldwin asks for his voice to be removed from an "unfair" documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger...
Posted by: Cameron Tucker at December 19, 2006 4:11 AM
London-born rapper Sway is to be honoured at the BET Hip-Hop awards in the US...
Posted by: Gaven Shanahan at December 19, 2006 4:36 AM
London-born rapper Sway is to be honoured at the BET Hip-Hop awards in the US...
Posted by: Gaven Shanahan at December 19, 2006 4:38 AM
Veteran game show host Bob Barker is stepping down from hosting The Price is Right after 35 years...
Posted by: Gregory Mcneely at December 19, 2006 4:49 AM
Jonathan Ross is dubbed "risque" by Ofcom but not in breach of rules over an interview with David Cameron...
Posted by: Marco Milton at December 19, 2006 5:41 AM
Doctor Who takes three prizes at the National Television Awards in a repeat of its success last year...
Posted by: Lamar Ripley at December 19, 2006 5:54 AM
The Red Hot Chili Peppers are leading the way at this years MTV Europe music awards with four nominations...
Posted by: Malakai Darnell at December 19, 2006 6:05 AM
The Red Hot Chili Peppers are leading the way at this years MTV Europe music awards with four nominations...
Posted by: Malakai Darnell at December 19, 2006 6:05 AM
The Rolling Stones postpone a show in the US to allow singer Sir Mick Jagger time to rest his voice...
Posted by: Cayden Cook at December 19, 2006 6:17 AM
William Styron, whose Holocaust novel Sophie's Choice became a film and an opera, has died, aged 81...
Posted by: Eddie Parker at December 19, 2006 6:27 AM
Veteran game show host Bob Barker is stepping down from hosting The Price is Right after 35 years...
Posted by: Ethan Pack at December 19, 2006 6:38 AM
Veteran game show host Bob Barker is stepping down from hosting The Price is Right after 35 years...
Posted by: Mohamed Clarkson at December 19, 2006 6:58 AM
Veteran game show host Bob Barker is stepping down from hosting The Price is Right after 35 years...
Posted by: Mohamed Clarkson at December 19, 2006 6:59 AM
Veteran game show host Bob Barker is stepping down from hosting The Price is Right after 35 years...
Posted by: Mohamed Clarkson at December 19, 2006 7:00 AM
Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84...
Posted by: Darin Strom at December 19, 2006 7:09 AM
Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84...
Posted by: Darin Strom at December 19, 2006 7:10 AM
Microsoft and Peter Jackson postpone the making of a film based on the Halo video game after backers pull out...
Posted by: Roberto Luong at December 19, 2006 7:21 AM
Record company EMI sign a deal with the estate of crooner Dean Martin to use the singer's likeness...
Posted by: Julien Coy at December 19, 2006 7:31 AM
Record company EMI sign a deal with the estate of crooner Dean Martin to use the singer's likeness...
Posted by: Julien Coy at December 19, 2006 7:33 AM
Alec Baldwin asks for his voice to be removed from an "unfair" documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger...
Posted by: Jasper Whyte at December 19, 2006 7:42 AM
Alec Baldwin asks for his voice to be removed from an "unfair" documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger...
Posted by: Jasper Whyte at December 19, 2006 7:43 AM
Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (£22m) film deal starring his character Bruno...
Posted by: Gunner Marcum at December 19, 2006 7:54 AM
Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (£22m) film deal starring his character Bruno...
Posted by: Trever Deluca at December 19, 2006 8:05 AM
Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (£22m) film deal starring his character Bruno...
Posted by: Trever Deluca at December 19, 2006 8:05 AM
Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84...
Posted by: Logan Duffy at December 19, 2006 9:02 AM
Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84...
Posted by: Logan Duffy at December 19, 2006 9:03 AM
Madonna says she may adopt another child from abroad following her proposed adoption of a Malawian boy...
Posted by: Jorden Shelly at December 19, 2006 9:14 AM
Madonna says she may adopt another child from abroad following her proposed adoption of a Malawian boy...
Posted by: Jorden Shelly at December 19, 2006 9:15 AM
William Styron, whose Holocaust novel Sophie's Choice became a film and an opera, has died, aged 81...
Posted by: Jack Powell at December 19, 2006 9:37 AM
Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (£22m) film deal starring his character Bruno...
Posted by: Kaleb Aguiar at December 19, 2006 9:52 AM
Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (£22m) film deal starring his character Bruno...
Posted by: Marcelo Zapata at December 19, 2006 10:18 AM
Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (£22m) film deal starring his character Bruno...
Posted by: Marcelo Zapata at December 19, 2006 10:19 AM
Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery...
Posted by: Anton Newsome at December 19, 2006 10:30 AM
Pop trio Atomic Kitten will reform to play a concert in support of jailed Liverpool football fan Michael Shields...
Posted by: Marcos Trahan at December 19, 2006 10:42 AM