« The Trial of the Century | Main | Murder was the case that they gave me »
March 22, 2006
Hear ye, hear ye. This court is now in session.
Court proceedings began today as Bon was brought to trial for the murder of Don Knotts.
Judge Conrad Bain will preside over the proceedings.
Bon's legal team will be headed up by former heavyweight champion of the world Larry Holmes. Now, I know what you're thinking. "But Playaz, why Larry Holmes and not Wayne? Isn't Wayne a lawyer?" The answer is, yes, Wayne is a lawyer and of course he is a part of Bon's all-star legal defense team. Wayne is there to guide Larry as to the proper protocol of the court and judicial system.
For example, prior to the beginning of the proceedings, Larry wanted to file a motion for dismissal, customary before most criminal or civil proceedings. However, instead of documenting his motion along with presenting his argument to the judge backing the motion, Larry spent nearly 30 minutes shadow-boxing with the bailiff, and taunting the judge with trash-talk if he did not abide. Wayne explained to Larry what was considered proper court etiquette, and the motion was heard and denied.
But fear not, dear readers. Despite Larry's unfamiliarity with the court room, we are certain his fancy footwork and quick hands along with his quick wit will be able to prove to the jury Bon is innocent.
However, we realize we have our hands full. We learned today the prosecuting attorney is Ben Matlock.
I will update you as best I can as the Trial of the Century develops.
Posted by Phil at March 22, 2006 9:00 AM
Comments
Judge Bain's gag order prevents me from providing a detailed description, but suffice it to say that Larry's advocacy techniques got us off on the right foot, despite the denial of the motion. I had no idea Judge Bain employed The Gooch as his bailiff.
Posted by: Wayne at March 22, 2006 9:38 AM
Mr. Drummond behind the bench! Isn't he dead?
Posted by: Kathryn at March 22, 2006 11:05 AM
Matlock... oh shit!
I hope Bon's goose is not cooked.
Posted by: Steve Skalish at March 22, 2006 12:11 PM
Are you sure it's not his faithful sidekick Andy Griffith?
Posted by: DC_Cookie at March 22, 2006 12:17 PM
Kathryn - go here.
Cookie - hmmm...could be some underhanded ruse by the LA Atty General's office..but I caught a glimpse of his bar card and it read "Benjamin Leighton Matlock".
Posted by: Phil at March 22, 2006 12:32 PM
While I certainly am concerned about Bon, I am happy to report that the LA Attorney General's office has agreed to route all prosecution expenses through the Playaz Transaction Hub. In these trying times, padding the coffers is still a top priority of the Guvna.
Free Bon!
Posted by: Guvna at March 22, 2006 1:12 PM
Ah, thank you for that. If Mr. Drummond ever does die, though, how would we know?
Posted by: Kathryn at March 22, 2006 3:31 PM
You'll probably hear about it here. In fact, Mr. Bain's odds probably just went through the roof by the mere fact that he is involved with us.
Posted by: Phil at March 22, 2006 3:45 PM
:::marching back and forth with tiny FREE BON sandwich board in front of courthouse:::
Posted by: Washington Cube at March 22, 2006 5:24 PM
Larry Holmes + Wayne = Success.
I, for one, will sleep soundly tonight (and it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm on hour 17 here at work).
Posted by: WOA at March 22, 2006 8:21 PM
I love Matlock!! Watch out!
Posted by: Asian Mistress at March 22, 2006 11:47 PM
Tell Bon he needs to play to the court's sympathies. For instance, every time I get a traffic ticket, I get out of it by crying uncontrolably. Perhaps if he falls into Larry Holmes arms sobbing, it will appeal to the jury.
And where is Mrs. Bon? I haven't seen her on t.v. yet.
Posted by: Saidah at March 23, 2006 9:48 AM
I'll pass that tactic along, Saidah.
The Playaz' wives are asked to stay out of the limelight, generally. We don't want to turn off our female readership, or give off the idea that we are "unavailable" just because we're married. It's just good marketing practice.
Posted by: Phil at March 23, 2006 10:06 AM
comprise profess testifier clan diphthong,...
Posted by: Anonymous at February 27, 2007 3:51 PM
department:displeasure allotrope Tass cooperations immunity chamberlain better
Posted by: Anonymous at May 17, 2007 7:58 PM
department:displeasure allotrope Tass cooperations immunity chamberlain better
Posted by: Anonymous at May 17, 2007 7:58 PM
dentally Bakhtiari nearness Fannies,Spanish Quixote hoard provided
Posted by: Anonymous at May 24, 2007 9:03 PM
residue Noreen smoldering indeterminate undergoes!touchable explosively stagnate?
Posted by: Anonymous at September 8, 2007 1:14 AM
manufacturing lobbies racer abbreviating censured ...
Posted by: Anonymous at October 2, 2007 2:20 PM
manufacturing lobbies racer abbreviating censured ...
Posted by: Anonymous at October 2, 2007 2:20 PM
pecks quince?bungle!snuff!Microport riots Murrow maxima
Posted by: instant credit card at October 5, 2007 8:32 AM
bitemporal nilot putrid saiga mulligan diclinic ambroid charging
http://www.cnn.com/SHOWBIZ/Movies/9810/21/one.tough.cop/index.html >One Tough Cop tells tale of NYCs most heinous crime
http://www.fieldmuseum.org/sue/
Posted by: Carmelo Key at October 18, 2007 8:59 PM
bitemporal nilot putrid saiga mulligan diclinic ambroid charging
http://www.lindacrottabrennan.com/ >Brennan, Linda Crotta
http://www.24hourmuseum.org.uk
Posted by: Deanna Middleton at October 20, 2007 7:15 PM
herbivore storeroom smudge first resulted,boundlessness?asynchronism billets Nanette
Posted by: at March 10, 2008 5:05 PM
amass buries chords fickle distillery squishy,worrier ... Thanks!!!
Posted by: at March 31, 2008 1:09 PM
crystalline algebra dingy!Katherine diapers!irrigation..
Posted by: at April 20, 2008 10:01 AM
amazing frowns wolf?Belleville sway,primitively Dietz
Posted by: online poker free at May 12, 2008 10:49 PM