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March 26, 2006
The Trial of the Century continues
Prosecuting attorney Ben Matlock continues to question witnesses in the Don Knotts murder trial:
Matlock: Your honor, I would like to call to the stand my next witness, Shane Tackleberry!
Judge Conrad Bain: Proceed.
Matlock: State your name for the record please.
Tac: Shane Tackleberry.
Matlock: And are you better known as 'Tac'?
Tac: Yes.
Matlock: Mr. Tackleberry, you are quite savvy when it comes to illegal narcotics, aren't you?
Tac: I would like to invoke my 5th Amendment rights at this time.
Matlock: Did the Playaz discover, and do you distribute, a substance known as "Comet Dust"?
Tac: I am invoking my 5th Amendment rights at this time.
Matlock: Are you Bon's supplier of comet dust?
Tac: I am invoking my 5th Amendment rights at this time.
Matlock: Did you once pack a cat with 33 lbs. of comet dust to smuggle overseas?
Tac: I am invoking my 5th Amendment rights at this time.
Wayne: Your honor, it is obvious my client is not going to answer any further questions at this time.
Judge Bain: Mr. Tackleberry, do you plan to invoke the 5th Amendment on every question?
Tac: Yes, your honor.
Judge Bain: Do you wish to continue, Mr. Matlock?
Matlock: I have one more question. Mr. Tackleberry did you give Bon the black gloves and comet dust that killed Don Knotts?
Tac: I am invoking my 5th Amendment priveledges at this time.
(a low murmur is heard throughout the gallery)
Judge Bain: You may step down, Mr. Tackleberry. Mr. Matlock you may continue.
Matlock: At this time your honor I would like to introduce to the court Exhibit "A": a comet-dust covered glove found at Mr. Knotts' bedside at the time of his death.
Judge Bain: It is recorded as Exhibit "A".
Matlock: Your Honor, the prosecution asks Mr. Bon to try on the comet-dust covered glove.
Judge Bain: Larry, do you have any objections?
Larry Holmes: No your honor.
Bon struggles to make the comet dust-covered gloves fit
(gasping from the court gallery)
Larry Holmes: They don't fit!!
Judge Bain: Mr. Holmes, no further outbursts. Mr. Bon you can be seated.
Matlock: Your honor, we ascertain that these comet dust-covered gloves were provided by Mr. Tackleberry to Bon the night Don Knotts was murdered, based on Tim Conway's testimony witnessing the crime.
Posted by Phil at March 26, 2006 6:09 PM
Comments
OHMYGOD
IS IT ME, OR DOES THE JUDGE BEAR A VERY STRIKING RESEMBLENCE TO "MR. DRUMMIN" FROM DIF'RENT STROKES??????????????
This is too funny.
Posted by: Buggy at March 26, 2006 8:33 PM
That is very irresponsible journalism from CNN.
It should read "Bon's ALLEGED comet dust supplier"
Posted by: Steve Skalish at March 26, 2006 8:54 PM
They allowed him to smoke in the courtroom? WHAT was in that pipe?
Posted by: Washington Cube at March 27, 2006 12:17 AM
Buggy - the same. Conrad Bain is the actor who played "Mr. Drummond" in Diff'rent Strokes. We are as suprised as you to discover he is now a superior court judge.
Steve - obviously, the Playaz prefer Fox News.
WC - yes they did. In fact, if you go back to Bon's arraignment, you'll see he has a cocktail glass, a pipe, AND a cigarette. They are very liberal in Hollywood, you know.
Posted by: Phil at March 27, 2006 10:15 AM
Could the comet dust-infused glove not suggest that it is TAC who is guilty?
Posted by: Saidah at March 27, 2006 12:21 PM
I hate to say it but it MUST be said: If the glove doesn't fit, you MUST acquit! (am I giving something away here?)
Posted by: Wayne Ordinary American at March 27, 2006 2:01 PM
We are with you, WOA! The outcome of this trial is just as mysterious to us as it is to you...we are all pulling for Bon!
Posted by: Phil at March 27, 2006 2:08 PM
I can't help but think all that legal advice Bain had to give Todd Bridges over the years may've drew him to the judge's bench.
Posted by: Buggy at March 27, 2006 4:00 PM
Speaking of which, is Bridges a suspect in this case?
Posted by: Buggy at March 27, 2006 4:01 PM
Almost forgot to note this...
Conrad Bain's head has gotten rather large for his body, don't you think?
Posted by: Steve Skalish at March 28, 2006 4:48 PM
I believe Conrad suffers from a slight case of 'gigantism'. I'm not 100% sure about this.
Posted by: Phil at March 28, 2006 4:52 PM
It's not so much too big as it is set forward at an awkward angle. I forget the medical term for this. Goochism?
Posted by: Wayne at March 28, 2006 10:48 PM
This must be tearing the Playaz apart, first they lose a dear friend, then one of their own is accused in his death...on a brighter note, is that you Phil singing background on the new Kenny Rogers album?
Posted by: Adam at March 29, 2006 9:33 AM
It has been difficult on all of us, Adam.
Yes, I am singing on "I can't unlove you" and a couple of others.
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