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April 25, 2006
Playaz deem surgery on Kenny Rogers a success
Whew!
Well, we have been working long hours to repair Kenny Rogers, and I can proudly say it has been a success.
Let's be honest. We were all frightened by what we saw. But we knew that with the proper counsel with Kenny and surgical precision that we could rebuild the man.
I will let the results speak for themselves.
Before:
After:
As we mentioned before, we also implanted several cybernetic devices. A 20.1:1 telescopic zoom in Kenny's right eye. A bionic right arm with the strength of a bulldozer. Two bionic legs that allow Kenny to run at super-speeds.
Kenny is currently rehabbing and getting used to his new abilities, which I'm sure will come in handy for both him and us.
We hear there is a 'Bigfoot' roaming in the northwestern forests with plans on looting America's precious jewels.
Posted by Phil at April 25, 2006 9:03 AM
Comments
I was reading a People magazine in the doctor's office yesterday and saw an article about Kenny saying how thrilled he is with his new look...and how there is more to come. He also talked about how he can't tell his twins apart, Phil. Maybe that telescopic zoom you've given him will fix that little problem.
Posted by: Washington Cube at April 25, 2006 10:59 AM
I can't wait to see who you give him to be his Bionic Woman.
Posted by: Steve Skalish at April 25, 2006 11:38 AM
"People" magazine??? Don't the Playaz control the media? What's going on here? The man needs help!!! (Oh, and for a Bionic Counterpart, I suggest Jessica Alba. Mmmmmmmmmmm....Jessica.....)
Posted by: WOA at April 25, 2006 2:29 PM
Cube - we also think he will make a great 'lookout' for us when we are up to not-so-legal activities.
Steve, WOA - Jessica could be arranged.
Posted by: Phil at April 25, 2006 2:36 PM
More to come? Sounds like Kenny may be the new Michael Jackson.
Posted by: Chase at April 25, 2006 7:23 PM
So, am I the only one that treated this like Erotic Photo Hunt and was vehemently looking for differences in the Kenny pictures?
Posted by: Law-Rah at April 25, 2006 10:12 PM
Lawrah, isn't that the game from the Hilights magazines found in dentists offices?
Playaz, I think that Kenny, despite the immense success of the surgery, is one of "them", now, and cannot be recovered. Pretty soon, he's going to be living in Bahrain and treating the princes over there to some of his most fabulous hits in exchange for diplomatic immunity and a never-ending supply of supple young boys.
Posted by: AUA at April 25, 2006 10:37 PM
AUA??? How dare you speak such blasphemy??! Be quite careful or we call down locust upon you, as well as boils.
Posted by: Bon at April 26, 2006 8:07 AM
Ya'll might want to be aware that Jay Leno was ragging on Kenny recently. In fact, and I quote: "Kenny Rogers is having some problems with his plastic surgery. He tried to wink at a girl and pulled a groin muscle. - Jay Leno"
I think someone needs to avenge Kenny's honor.
Posted by: Saidah at April 26, 2006 9:38 AM
Jay will not live to see the end of the year. He will be met with an unfortunate 'accident' after he is mauled by one of Jack Hannah's chimpanzees.
Posted by: Phil at April 26, 2006 9:42 AM
That's right Phil, and I suspect Tac might have a little something to do with said accident.
Posted by: Bon at April 26, 2006 12:54 PM
Go Tac!
We haven't seen him in action for quite some time. I suggest a round-house followed by a kick to the groin. I would be most satisfied. Jay's been a pet peeve of mine for years.
Posted by: WOA at April 26, 2006 2:03 PM
This is what Clay Aiken is going to look like in 50 years. I hope he grows his beard back...
Posted by: DC_Cookie at April 26, 2006 2:57 PM