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May 8, 2006

Guv'na's energy saving tips

This winter, many of your were stung by the rising cost of gas, both in your car and at home. The Guv'na shares with you his methods to cut down those gas bills at home to help you prepare for next winter.

If you follow the Guv'na's steps closely, you will see immediate savings during the cold weather months:

Step 1: The Guv'na has a wife and two children. This can be a financial burden when you are expected to keep them warm at all hours of the day. Instead, when you leave the house, turn your thermostat down to an extremely low level. Guv'na sets his at 58 degrees. This will ensure that the heat will in all probability not come on while you are out tending to business.

The family will ultimately adjust to this climate change, and since you are not at home, there is no reason to burn gas that will not be enjoyed by you (and that you will still have to pay for!).

Instruct the family that it is forbidden to adjust the thermostat while you are gone. Doing so may result in severe punishment, or beatings.

Step 2:

When you return home, set the thermostat to a temperature you are comfortable with. The house will be nice and warm this way, and you will not have wasted money during the day.

Step 3:

Curl up on your favorite bearskin rug and nap in the cozy warmth of a roaring gas fireplace and running furnace. (It is best to ask the family to leave as their bodies will likely (and unnecessarily) dissipate the heat by being in the same room as you)

And there you have it! Energy saving tips that will help you fight soaring costs to heat your home. For the upcoming summer months, simply reverse the steps outlined above.

Posted by Phil at May 8, 2006 9:03 AM