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May 12, 2006

Hibernation

"Sir. The 'Washington Cube' is here, sir."

Good. Thank you for coming.

You are probably wondering what's going on. I feel it is time to be honest with you. I was reading your 'blog' and you mentioned in it a dream you had, that involved our operation. Cube, what you had last night was not a dream. It was a malfunction in your Random Access Memory. Your circuitry was attempting to recall a bit of information programmed into you when you were constructed.

"Constructed?"

Yes. You are a C.U.B.E. 9000 unit. You were constructed many years ago in a secret laboratory. Since then, we've managed to program you in cooperation with someone you know as "Travis" with Throwing Hammers. You are a Cybernetic Universal Blogging Encoder. You are programmed to blog as a cover, in hopes that others will link to you, thereby allowing your metacrawlers to access information for us, The Playaz.

"So why am I here? What was this about a secret word from an Oprah magazine that I thought I dreamed?"

You were given a memory chip with the "word". When that word was given to you, it would activate a program within your system to execute a plan that you were designed to do. That word is "Steadman".

CUBE, the time has come for you to carry out this mission for us.

"Yes, Phil.....
Phil? I'm scared, Phil...."

Don't be. It is what you were born to do.

Oh, and CUBE?....

"Yes, Phil?"

...try not be...conspicuous.

Posted by Phil at May 12, 2006 2:00 PM