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May 17, 2006
Tac patiently awaits orders from Gilad to strike
Tac has been awaiting patiently for instructions from Gilad, former ESPN fitness guru and creator of Bodies In Motion with Gilad video tapes.
According to Tac, Gilad has been rigorously training him for over 20 years through these video tapes for a mission not yet revealed to Tac.
Tac rises at 6 a.m. each day to tune in to the television show to see if the day has come when Gilad orders the strike. Tac adds that whatever the mission entails, he will be ready for it.
"Every morning I prepare myself for Gilad's intense physical training. Then, I insert the VHS tapes and proceed to perform over 300 lunges, 200 ab-crunches, and 375 squat-thrusts at Gilad's behest, and wait for some message instructing me that it is time to strike."
Tac is convinced Gilad is preparing him for battle against some unknown foe. "I know Charles Atlas and Jack LaLanne are dead, so it can't be them," Tac said. "But whoever it is, I will be ready."
Posted by Phil at May 17, 2006 9:11 AM
Comments
Richard Simmons, perhaps? That would be a good target. I hope it is Richard.
Posted by: Steve Skalish at May 17, 2006 11:36 AM
200 ab-crunches? I'd like to see the fruits of that workout;-)
Posted by: Law-Rah at May 17, 2006 12:02 PM
Those guns! That mullet! The oddly proportioned limbs!
Posted by: Marci at May 17, 2006 12:20 PM
It can only be Fitness Mad Simple's John Basedow.
Posted by: jordanbaker at May 17, 2006 1:10 PM
I want it to be John Basedow. They are all creepy, but I have to see Basedow more on late night tv.
Posted by: Washington Cube at May 17, 2006 1:35 PM
I'm thinking Oprah. Tac could launch himself at her from the couch and squeeze her neck on impact with his incredibly buff quads.
Posted by: WOA at May 17, 2006 2:22 PM
Good to know Tac has graduated from Beta to VHS...
Posted by: DC_Cookie at May 17, 2006 3:25 PM
It was a struggle - Tac was convinced Beta was the technology that would ultimately take hold for the longest time...
Posted by: Phil at May 17, 2006 3:31 PM
Glad to know he is on our side!
Posted by: Bon at May 18, 2006 7:07 AM
I had a dream about Kenny Rogers last night...
Posted by: DC_Cookie at May 18, 2006 1:03 PM
FYI, I am investigating Kenny Rogers for illegally taping calls and reading emails sent between the Playaz.
Posted by: Patrick J. Fitzgerald at May 18, 2006 3:15 PM
Patrick - that is welcomed, not illegal! Plus, I believe there are now provisions specifically for Kenny in the latest PATRIOT act.
Posted by: Phil at May 18, 2006 6:29 PM
Now Cookie,how can you leave us hanging like that? We must know the dream.
Posted by: Bon at May 18, 2006 8:21 PM