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May 17, 2006

Tac patiently awaits orders from Gilad to strike

Tac has been awaiting patiently for instructions from Gilad, former ESPN fitness guru and creator of Bodies In Motion with Gilad video tapes.

According to Tac, Gilad has been rigorously training him for over 20 years through these video tapes for a mission not yet revealed to Tac.

Tac rises at 6 a.m. each day to tune in to the television show to see if the day has come when Gilad orders the strike. Tac adds that whatever the mission entails, he will be ready for it.

"Every morning I prepare myself for Gilad's intense physical training. Then, I insert the VHS tapes and proceed to perform over 300 lunges, 200 ab-crunches, and 375 squat-thrusts at Gilad's behest, and wait for some message instructing me that it is time to strike."

Tac is convinced Gilad is preparing him for battle against some unknown foe. "I know Charles Atlas and Jack LaLanne are dead, so it can't be them," Tac said. "But whoever it is, I will be ready."

Posted by Phil at May 17, 2006 9:11 AM