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June 8, 2006

Land of opportunity

Back in 1983, speeding across the Chihuanhuan desert, Tac dodged gunfire and smashed through cactii carrying precious cargo towards the United States' border. That cargo consisted of Ray Reyes, Roy Rosello, Robby Rosa, Charlie Masso, and Ricky Martin, better known as "Menudo".

Yes, we were responsible for bringing you the hit songs Fuego, and Rubik, The Amazing Cube.

And while we appreciated the music, frankly we were more interested in how much cocaine could be smuggled inside the rectums of Menudo.

Now, the U.S. wants to keep immigrants out by strengthening the defense along our borders. So who, then, will smuggle across the next Menudo?

We will.

In fact, it has already happened. While you sleep, the Playaz are at work. A windowless van with five new, young Latinos, packed with comet dust, races towards the border, where they are left at a "drop house" (and an ensuing mix-up causes them to be held for ransom until their families paid for their freedom, ultimately ending in one of the boys having a hand severed), then on to sign a contract with the Playaz' recording label.

So stay tuned, America. You can build your fences along the border, but you will never keep out the music (or the drug smuggling capabilities) of Menudo.

Posted by Phil at June 8, 2006 8:50 AM