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June 26, 2006
Bon slays Charles Darwin's tortoise
With help from the Guv'na, Bon slayed the last living link to evolution theorist Charles Darwin, killing his 176 year old tortoise.
Bon, a staunch creationist, has long despised the tortoise for it's connection to Darwin, and has taken many painstaking years to ultimately capture and kill the well-protected and cared-for animal.
Instead of killing the tortoise instantly, Guv'na held the tortoise at knifepoint, while Bon stripped the shell off the 330 lb. reptile, exposing it to infection and disease. Then Bon shouted Bible verses at the tortoise, giving it cause to succumb to a heart-attack from the stress of knowing it would soon burn in Hades for "siding" with Darwin.
"And God said, Let us make the Playaz in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and the Playaz shalt kill every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth." - Genesis 1
Posted by Phil at June 26, 2006 11:49 AM
Comments
Can we expect a nice turtle soup soon?
Posted by: Steve Skalish at June 26, 2006 4:13 PM
You may expect a lot of turtle soup.
Posted by: Phil at June 26, 2006 4:33 PM
I'm sure, though, that it wasn't "infection and disease" nor a "heart attack" that did the tortoise in.
It was God's divine will being wrought upon the heathen. That's why we should burn all the Apes. Because it would be God's will.
Posted by: AUA at June 26, 2006 7:26 PM
AUA, you are a wise man.
Posted by: Phil at June 26, 2006 7:58 PM
This is so twisted and disgusting and fabulous.
Posted by: The Blonde Menace at June 28, 2006 2:31 PM
Thank you, Menace - welcome to the Playaz' family. We hope you visit us often..
Posted by: Phil at June 28, 2006 3:34 PM
Lousy symbols of evolution. That was good of Bon- he is always thinking of others.
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