« Bizarro Kenny | Main | Phil & Bon arrive at G-8 Summit; seduce world leader's wives »
July 14, 2006
America, Pt. II: Don't tread on the Playaz
At the behest of Unique Alias, I am posting another session of "Education: Playaz-style" between myself an yet another confused reader before it scrolls off into the archives.
I am also creating another category in our sidebar titled "Fan Mail" as these sessions seem to be becoming more frequent. While this is technically culled from the comments section of our previous post "United States of America: Greatest Country On Earth", I feel it is appropriate for the topic at hand.
In that post, a young fan hailing from the U.K. posted Anonymously (side note: seriously, why 'anonymous'? I mean, even "jeff s" had the guts to email me direct from his office email account at his tuxedo shop with Lord West...can't you at least make up a name?) and was decidedly opposed to my opinions that the U.S. is in fact the Greatest Country On Earth. So, with poor grammar and a hastily prepared diatribe, "anonymous" and I had the following exchange:
when u beat the crap out of the english wernt u all english too! and u had the french , dutch and spanish armies on your side. most of the english were actualy irish and german. can u count being envolved (sic) in WW1 ? and u eventualy joined WW2 when japan and germany declared war on u. u yanks live in a dream world.Posted by: Anonymous at July 11, 2006 09:25 PM
Anonymous, I would say if it weren't for the U.S. you'd be speaking (insert foreign language: german, japanese, italian, spanish, etc.)...but I'm not sure what to say because that's barely English you're typing.
Americans are not just English settlers. As you say we had Irish, German, etc. in our colonies at the time. We take the best of all cultures, then beat the crap out of whatever remains behind in that culture, because they are inferior.
I'd say we count in WWI, since we basically won it. Yes, we eventually did join WWII when you pansies couldn't get the job done (again), so we did it on two fronts for you.
Don't make us crush you, anonymous! You cannot hide from the USA!
Posted by: Phil at July 11, 2006 09:49 PM
do you seriously think anyone is scared of the USA.Posted by: Anonymous at July 12, 2006 11:46 AM
The people of Hiroshima & Nagasaki might disagree. If they were alive.
Oh yeah.. your own country won't even take a piss without our say-so first.
Posted by: Phil at July 12, 2006 12:06 PM
when we smashed argentina there were quite a few yank mercenary's helping them out! They were all wiped out by the Royal marines easy . By the way doubt you know this fact but it was the British that gave the Jap army their biggest defeat during WW2 in Burmah. of course dropping bombs on weak civilians is a perfect measure of how brave the USA is, your still doing it todayPosted by: Anonymous at July 13, 2006 01:43 PM
1) Yes - the mighty Argentinians. Which, by the way, we helped you win that one, too - go back and read your history books. The U.S. gave you missiles and machinery that actually worked and Margaret Thatcher herself said without the United States, Britain would have "never gotten back the Falklands". Enjoy your Patagonia sweaters! It was worth it!
2) Burma - when you say "British", you mean "British India", right? Yes this was the biggest Japanese defeat - unless you count the 214,000 we obliterated in Hiroshima and Nagasaki and forced Japan to surrender.
3) You got that right! That's how you win wars. Your country should look into it.
Posted by: Phil at July 13, 2006 02:04 PM
England invented democracy in 1649 thanks to the english civil war , thats long before we inventsd America , Australia , New Zealand , Canada , South Africa , Hong Kong ectPosted by: Anonymous at July 13, 2006 02:06 PM
i have to admit it would be easier to win this argument if you were frenchPosted by: Anonymous at July 13, 2006 02:08 PM
I look forward to seeing who the newly elected King and Queen will be.
I'll tell you what America invented: Business Opportunity. What if I told you that one could strike it rich, simply by posting comments on the internet, just as you're doing now?
Posted by: Phil at July 13, 2006 02:54 PM
I guess if there are any lessons to be learned here it is A) The U.S. is the Greatest Country On Earth, B) If you want to debate the Playaz, you will lose, because we are always right, and C) I would like to meet this young man to discuss a unique business opportunity that can benefit the both of us. If I could just have 5 minutes of your time to discuss our Business Model.
P.S. Unique Alias wanted to add: "someone should tell him that the Greeks invented democracy. You know, on account of the fact that it's from the Greek demos, "people," and kratos, "rule". And also, uhm, well-documented history."
Posted by Phil at July 14, 2006 9:23 AM
Comments
I bet the Guvna enjoys our brand of democracy quite well.
Posted by: Steve Skalish at July 14, 2006 1:29 PM
I love the fact that he's berating you in what barely passes for english. Dumbass.
Posted by: Siryn at July 15, 2006 2:54 AM
Re: c)
Um, I am here. I will hunt him down for you and if you give me the necessary tools, I can brand the Playaz Business Model on his ass!
Posted by: Law-Rah at July 24, 2006 9:37 AM
Do you think that Obama is going to win because the Republicans have such a bad candidate?
Why did John McCain make his final argument against Obama... coal?
That's his closing argument? William Ayers, Rev. Wright, spreading the wealth, Born Alive, meeting dictators without preconditions, etc. all have to take a back seat so that McCain can go to Colorado and New Mexico to talk about coal? Does this more or less explain why he's going to get his clock cleaned Tuesday?
Posted by: RoyArtelo at November 8, 2008 7:04 PM
We recommended his final argument be about comet dust.
Posted by: Phil at November 8, 2008 9:44 PM