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November 29, 2006
Bon to replace lead singer of The Wiggles
The hugely popular children's group The Wiggles announced that Bon will be replacing it's lead singer, "the Yellow Wiggle" Greg Page, according to the Sydney Morning Herald.
Page has fallen to serious illness and has been absent from recent performances.
The Australian group announced there would be no major changes to the television show or their concerts. However, it was noted that there have been some immediate differences since Bon has joined the group. The once popular concerts have incorporated a great deal more satanic imagery, including ritualistic simulated "sacrifices" on stage, as well as loud heavy-metal music. Parents report the new show frightens most children and are not sure about Bon's influence on the group.
One Wiggle, wishing to remain anonymous, stated that Bon has introduced hallucinogenic drugs to the group to "get the creative juices flowing". He further stated that Wiggle "Jeff's" narcolepsy is not an act, but actually episodes of that Wiggle passing out from an overdose of drugs supplied by Bon. "The children love to shout "Wake up, Jeff!" whenever this happens, but in reality it all started when we became seriously concerned about Jeff falling unconscious because of Bon's drugs, to where we were screaming at him to wake up. We were legitimately afraid he had died. It's sad, really."
Bon looks forward to reaping the financial windfall from leading the Wiggles, Australia's top earning celebrities.
Posted by Phil at November 29, 2006 9:01 AM
Comments
When do the Kangols arrive for the other Wiggles?
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They will get them when they have earned them. Step one is that they must drink the blood of Henry the Octopus.
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The guy in purple looks like a crackhead Jimmy Smits.
Posted by: Hammer at November 29, 2006 5:34 PM
You are very perceptive, Hammer. That's Jeff
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Henry the Octupus will be on the menu at Kenny and Bon's Roasters by next week.
I also look forward to see if Wags the Dog can perform after he eats this hot dog that I have lathered in meth
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