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November 29, 2006

Bon to replace lead singer of The Wiggles

The hugely popular children's group The Wiggles announced that Bon will be replacing it's lead singer, "the Yellow Wiggle" Greg Page, according to the Sydney Morning Herald.

Page has fallen to serious illness and has been absent from recent performances.

The Australian group announced there would be no major changes to the television show or their concerts. However, it was noted that there have been some immediate differences since Bon has joined the group. The once popular concerts have incorporated a great deal more satanic imagery, including ritualistic simulated "sacrifices" on stage, as well as loud heavy-metal music. Parents report the new show frightens most children and are not sure about Bon's influence on the group.

One Wiggle, wishing to remain anonymous, stated that Bon has introduced hallucinogenic drugs to the group to "get the creative juices flowing". He further stated that Wiggle "Jeff's" narcolepsy is not an act, but actually episodes of that Wiggle passing out from an overdose of drugs supplied by Bon. "The children love to shout "Wake up, Jeff!" whenever this happens, but in reality it all started when we became seriously concerned about Jeff falling unconscious because of Bon's drugs, to where we were screaming at him to wake up. We were legitimately afraid he had died. It's sad, really."

Bon looks forward to reaping the financial windfall from leading the Wiggles, Australia's top earning celebrities.

Posted by Phil at November 29, 2006 9:01 AM