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December 1, 2006
Reminiscing
Go back to a time, if you will...sometime in the 1980’s. A young Phil has just received three new pairs of jeans to wear to school. These jeans, however, are not the normal fair (Levi/Lee, the prevalent jeans of choice for males at my school). They are Wrangler. "Well, I guess Wrangler are as good as any," thinks Phil. He is wrong. Phil is in for the worst heckling he has ever experienced in his life this day.
Donning the jeans, they are instantly recognized as non-Levi/non-Lee jeans. The jingle that made Wrangler popular ("Here comes Wrangler, he's one tough customer, and he knows what he likes when he sees it..(oooh, Wran-gler!)") instantly comes to mind of the Guv’na - a great friend, but a tremendous bastard when he gets hold of something negative. Not only is it sung ad-nauseum, but it catches on around the school to the point where EVERYBODY sings it any time I walk by. It was a hellish school day.
As I get in my car to go home, I announce to my Mom that I will never wear these jeans again and explain the ridicule and torment I went through, primarily at the hands of The Guv'na. Mom is forced to return the jeans and buy me jeans that did not have a catchy theme song (Levi's).
Fast forward a few days. The Guv’na is coming home with Phil to spend the night. My mom must have been harboring some massive resentment towards Guv’na for days because she rips into him almost immediately. "I had to return three perfectly good pairs of jeans yesterday because you made fun of Phil!!", she screamed at Guv'na. Guv’na is stunned and does not know what to say.
Phil never wore those jeans again, and still will not to this day.
Posted by Phil at December 1, 2006 9:16 AM
Comments
I hope you told this story at The Guv'na's funeral.
Posted by: Kathryn at December 1, 2006 9:58 AM
did guvna have a funeral?
Posted by: corpsey at December 1, 2006 12:06 PM
Ah, the good old days, when we heaped daily ridicule upon each other.
Posted by: Wayne at December 1, 2006 12:09 PM
Corpsey - No he didn't. He just floated away in a hefty bag down the Chattahoochee.
Wayne - doesn't that still go on today?
Posted by: Phil at December 1, 2006 12:16 PM
Kids are assholes to each other. Cute assholes, but assholes nonetheless.
Posted by: Siryn at December 1, 2006 1:06 PM
Phil, it does still go on but not to such degree. I imagine if I saw Bon wearing an out-of-style kangol, I might mention it but doubt that I would sing a song about it all day and tell my friends about it.
Posted by: Wayne at December 1, 2006 1:38 PM
Oh, no? Then why am I still mocked for my picky eating habits?
Posted by: Phil at December 1, 2006 3:39 PM
That is the most amusing post I have read all day...it is both tragic and entertaining.
Posted by: Asian Mistress at December 1, 2006 3:49 PM
Because you're eating habits are worse than Wrangler jeans.
Posted by: Wayne at December 1, 2006 4:15 PM
That's just it - maybe they were when I was 10, but not anymore. You only like to exaggerate it because it is funny.
It's not like I'm eating PB&J with the crusts cut off...
Posted by: Phil at December 1, 2006 4:17 PM
The Guv'na isn't dead.
Posted by: Washington Cube at December 1, 2006 5:18 PM
Salt lover.
Posted by: corpsey at December 1, 2006 5:21 PM
I'm sensing that the Guvna's death might 'not' have been an accident after all...
Posted by: DC_Cookie at December 1, 2006 5:35 PM
Bt there's no exaggeration, and I don't sing songs about it.
Posted by: Wayne at December 1, 2006 10:26 PM
Phil acts as if he now is an international food critic. When he and I eat lunch together, I know there are only 3 possibilities. Anything beyond those choices should not even be brought up, lest you be chastised
Posted by: Bon at December 2, 2006 10:35 AM
I have owned only pair of Wranglers in my life. It was two years ago when I was milking cows. The jeans only cost $8... and cows can't sing. Also, they only cost $8 (did I mention that?)
Posted by: Wayne Ordinary American at December 2, 2006 12:33 PM
See what I mean, folks?
Posted by: Phil at December 2, 2006 2:39 PM
Bon, What are the three foods Phil will eat? My guess----mac and cheese, hamburgers, ham sandwich.
Posted by: Prince-The Purple One at December 2, 2006 5:03 PM
One of my daughters just gagged at the sight of a grilled-cheese sandwich.
Posted by: Phil at December 2, 2006 6:20 PM
It is actually 3 restaurants oh great Purple one. Chick-Fil-A, Lenny's subs, and of course Kenny and Bon's Roasters
Posted by: Bon at December 2, 2006 6:42 PM
No - my friends are just jackasses.
(sorry, Restaurant Gal - inadvertently deleted your comment...#$% spammers are killing me - p.s. I don't like spam, the food, either)
Posted by: Phil at December 3, 2006 8:24 PM
It's hard to take a man's culinary opinions seriously when he's wearing Wranglers.
Posted by: Wayne at December 4, 2006 8:20 AM
Phil, you won't even wear Wranglers now- despite the fact that fine celebrities like Dale Earnhardt Jr. endorse them?
Posted by: DC Sports Chick at December 4, 2006 8:08 PM
I fear my association with you has caused the foodies to spam playazball.com! My God, they followed me to your site? I must be an awesome threat!
Yours in wearing expensive designer jeans that could be from any big-box store,
The Gal
Posted by: restaurant gal at December 4, 2006 8:59 PM
Only if the "foodies" enjoy porn - and lots of it.
Thanks, RG.
DCSportsChick- Dale Earnhardt Jr. is full of crap. Nobody thinks Wranglers are cool.
Posted by: Phil at December 4, 2006 9:10 PM
Wranglers are hawt.
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