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February 6, 2007
Comet Dust sends astronaut into bizarre love triangle arrest*
You may remember the previous effects that comet dust has had on the lady astronauts.
Well, it appears the comet dust was just too much for yet another female astronaut, Lisa Nowak, who is now under arrest for attempted kidnapping and attempted murder (we aren't sure, but perhaps Ms. Nowak wanted to kill either Captains Kenny Rogers or Larry Holmes, or both, both of whom head the Playaz' space missions?).
The evidence Ms. Nowak was under the influence of comet dust include the following highlights from her arrest. You be the judge:
When an officer found Nowak at a bus stop, she was wearing a different coat, and the officer observed her putting items in a trash can, the police report said. The officer retrieved a wig and a BB gun from the trash can, the report said.
Police found in Nowak's bag a tan trench coat, a new steel mallet, a folding knife with a 4-inch blade, 3 to 4 feet of rubber tubing, large plastic garbage bags and about $600 in cash, the report said.
Nowak acknowledged details of the allegations, according to police, and allowed officers to search her car. There, police found diapers, six latex gloves, directions from Houston to Orlando International Airport, e-mails from the Playaz, a letter indicating how much she loved Kenny and directions to Larry Holmes's home address.
Nowak wore a diaper during the 14-hour drive so that she wouldn't have to stop for bathroom breaks, the report said. Astronauts wear what NASA calls maximum-absorbency garments to collect their waste during space travel.
Sounds exactly like what anyone would do following a 3 day comet dust binge.
Oh....and wearing a diaper so you don't have to stop to go to the bathroom? Now that's dedication, ladies.
*love triangle may or may not include Michael Jordan
Posted by Phil at February 6, 2007 2:13 PM
Comments
I think that's going to become the new barometer of love. "Oh, sure, you say you'd walk through hell for me, but would you wear a diaper from Houston to Orlando for me?"
Posted by: Brunch Bird at February 6, 2007 2:42 PM
How's this for a love triangle: Michael Jordan, Kenny Rogers, and Diamond the horse.
Posted by: DC Sports Chick at February 6, 2007 6:35 PM
If nothing else, I suppose this proves that adult diapers aren't just for old people and "World of Warcraft" players.
Posted by: Hammer at February 6, 2007 7:27 PM
Brunch - nothing says "I love you" like soiling yourself on a 14 hour road trip.
DCSC - that is an impressive trio...
Hammer- the Playaz need to look into this trend..could keep us from the annoyance of having to get out of the pool at Playaz' HQ everytime we have to go.
Posted by: Phil at February 6, 2007 9:55 PM
Still not sure what the rubber tubing was for. I am a man that condones violence against all creatures, and my fellow man, but that one even has me stumped
Posted by: Bon at February 6, 2007 9:56 PM
Bon, perhaps it's for a good ol' fashioned rectal cleansing.
Posted by: Guvna at February 7, 2007 8:29 AM
The tubing was either for whipping or strangling, that would be my best guess.
Posted by: The Captain at February 7, 2007 8:36 AM
Perhaps the tubing was for "overflow" in case the diaper became saturated. Just hang it out the window.
Posted by: Wayne at February 7, 2007 10:45 AM
We have all experienced the strange effects comet dust has on the mind.
Like the time Guv'na slept inside the hollowed-out carcass of a deer because he believed he was stranded on the ice planet of Hoth (when in reality Bon had stored the deer in a freezer for later consumption).
Posted by: Phil at February 7, 2007 10:53 AM
When I was nine years old I found my mom's maxi pads and asked her what they were for. She wasn't ready to talk facts of life, so she told me they were in case she "dribbled a little bit" if she had to go to the bathroom and couldn't get there fast enough.
The next time I went roller skating, I wore a maxi pad just in case I had to pee and didn't want to stop.
Posted by: Dian Parkinson at February 7, 2007 2:27 PM
That is only practical, Dian.
Of course, the Playaz are hoping this goes to trial if only to hear "Your Honor, we'd like to introduce Ms. Nowak's soiled diaper as Exhibit "A"".
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