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February 8, 2007

Playaz may be partially to blame for astronaut Nowak's break-down

OK.

We almost never admit wrong doing, but we may have some culpability regarding Ms. Nowak's Love-Triangle-Meltdown.

Granted, we are still trying to sort through the details. We are hearing different names being tossed around in the media, but I think we, the Playaz, know that our involvement very well may have something to do with Ms. Nowak loading her car with latex gloves, rubber tubing, a mallet, garbage bags, and then strapping on a diaper for the 900 mile drive before her.

It all started innocently enough. First there were the flirtatious glances, as the Playaz and Nowak floated past each other in zero-gravity.

Suddenly, Chewbacca has floated in for a little heavy petting.

And before we know it, we are engaged in an all-out space orgy.

It was not right, I'll admit. NASA's psychological testing showed Ms. Nowak could not handle a full-scale Playaz' love making session in outer space.

I have for you a diagram of the Playaz Sex Pyramid, which shows you the different levels of arousal a woman might experience when involved with the Playaz. Level I is the "experimental" level, typically involving Dian Parkinson and Chewbacca. Level IV, the "Kenny" level, is the point of no return.

Nowak, in her attempts to rise through the pyramid to Level IV, ultimately snapped, and soiled herself as she drove through the night at the thought of Kenny and the Playaz with any other women.

For that, we are sorry.

But for our seductive ways, I make no apologies.

Posted by Phil at February 8, 2007 1:20 PM