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April 16, 2007

And the dance goes on...

Edited: April 18, 2007

As I promised The World, I would keep you updated as I continued desperately to negotiate with my personal friend and Barrister David Lauire and the Citizens International Bank of Nigeria to obtain my rightful inheritance.

You may catch up here:

Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV

Several days had passed with no communications from the Good Barrister. I then received this email from the Citizens Bank:

From:Citizen Bank (citizen_sinternationalbank@yahoo.com)
To: Phil Braun
Subject: THE BANK NEED YOUR ATTN:

Dear Friend.

What is happening to you out there, We have noit heard from you again.

From: Phil Braun
To: Citizen Bank

I must admit, I am getting a bit nervous. I have not heard from Barrister Lauire in a while. Is he on Spring Break?

From: Citizen Bank
To: Phil Braun

Dear friend .

All we want to no now is what is rong with you and Barrister David,Cos Barrister David was here with us on monday last week saying tu are not serious to Claim your late relative fund.

So we desided to stop mailing you.


Managment

Oh No! This did not look good...I decided that despite the fact these people obviously did not know who they were dealing with, I needed to take action myself...and let them know there has been some grave misunderstanding. I then sent concurrent emails to both the bank, and to my good friend Barrister David Lauire:

From: Phil Braun
To: Citizen Bank

Management:

I believe Barrister David to be in error. I was on vacation.


I am a very serious man and have need to claim the Fund.

Could you perhaps intermediate with the Barrister to rectify this situation? What gave him that impression? I only wanted to know with whom I was dealing with.

Phil

From: Phil Braun
To: David Lauire
Date: April 10, 2007

I have been out of town for a week and never heard back. What is the resolve?

Phil

Hmmm...no reply. I will send another email to Barrister David...

From: Phil Braun
To: David Lauire
Date: April 14, 2007
Subject: Let's make some money

I believe we are at a stalemate due to a potential language barrier.

Let's refresh our transaction in good faith.

Success! Today, I receive replies from both the bank and Barrister Lauire!

From: Citizen Bank
To: Phil Braun
Date: April 16, 2007

Call this Number so we can talk


234-8083326151

From: David Lauire
To: Phil Braun
Date: April 16, 2007
Subject: BE SERIOUSE.

MY DEAR FRIEND PLS YOU CAN GO NTO HELL FOR ALL I CARE, YOU NOT SERIOUSE

TELL ME ME WHEN YOU ARE SERIOUSE.

DAVID LAUIRE

From: Phil Braun
To: David Lauire
Date: April 16, 2007

Barrister David:

I am seriouse. Perhaps I should be offend by your offerings to go to Hell, but you call me friend so I must not take offense in this matter.

I am going to call the bank but I have a question. I am not familiar with the workings of the telephone for international calls. They gave me the number: 234-8083326151

This is not like our telephone numbers here where I live. How do I dial this?

Sincerely,

Phil

----------

To: Citizens Bank
From: Phil Braun
Date: April 17, 2007

I am quite concerned about the time difference - it is currently 10:19 a.m Tuesday here - I am under the assumption it is midnight, two days into the future where you reside. Am I correct?

What time do I call?

From: Citzens Bank
To: Phil Braun

Call anytime

To: Citizens Bank
From Phil Braun
Date: April 18, 2007

I have been thinking.

Since it appears Barrister Lauire is not willing to assist me, I feel I may need to involve my own personal counsel since I am inexperienced in conducting inheritance claims of my late Uncle from Canada. His name is Wayne.

Would this be agreeable?


Posted by Phil at April 16, 2007 9:31 AM