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May 2, 2007
Clinton, Wayne announce plan for diplomatic Sex Tour in 2007
Following the recent democratic debates near the Playaz camp in Orangeburg, South Carolina, former President Bill Clinton and Wayne revealed their plan to embark on a global Sex Tour, beginning in the early summer this year.
President Clinton called the Playaz to discuss ideas on how to heal rifts between our nation and other foreign countries that have arisen over the last several years. After 3 minutes, it was decided that having sex with every woman around the world between the ages of 18 and 49 would be the best diplomatic solution to regaining the trust and establishing good relations between the U.S. and the world.
"Wayne and I will depart on our 'Envoy of Love' beginning in June, and we will go and go and go, and we won't stop unitl the job is done," Clinton said to reporters. "As my promise to you, we will make love to every able-bodied woman, provided she is of legal age, in order to re-connect with the world via this marvelous diplomatic strategy," he added.
While Clinton intends to leverage the duo's lovemaking to harvest feelings of good-will for the betterment of the nation, Wayne intends to use this newfound diplomacy mission as a way to negotiate for money, jewels, and furs on behalf of the Playaz.
Their first scheduled stop will be in Stockport, England to visit modeling twins Eve and Emma Ryan.
Posted by Phil at May 2, 2007 8:54 AM
Comments
I eagerly await Wayne's arrival. As previously arranged, Bill gets Bob Barker.
Posted by: Dian Parkinson at May 2, 2007 10:05 AM
Somehow, I don't think this is quite what Roosevelt had in mind when he advocated "speak softly and carry a big stick" diplomacy.
Posted by: Hammer at May 2, 2007 10:26 PM
Clinton always idolized Kennedy anyway - he was more of a "I am the man who accompanied Jacqueline Kennedy to Paris...and I have enjoyed it" kind of guy.
Posted by: Phil at May 3, 2007 10:29 AM
What about the ugly chicks? I know Bill will do it with any living woman--and few dead ones, if they are hot enough (yes, I'm talking to you, Anna Nicole Smith)--but how far is Wayne willing to go for diplomacy?
Posted by: homeimprovementninja at May 3, 2007 2:26 PM
I believe Wayne has been issued a Diplomacy Kit that includes a paper bag in the event of emergencies.
Posted by: Phil at May 3, 2007 5:02 PM