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May 14, 2007
A job offer for Mr. Sheriff
(Update 1:25 p.m.)
It is an exciting day.
About 2 weeks ago, I began email correspondence with a gentleman by the name of Sheriff Ahmed, who offered the Playaz the lucrative investment of Gold Dust via teh internets. Naturally, we were intrigued.
I wondered to Mr. Sheriff if gold dust had the same narcotic qualities as our own comet dust, which the Playaz were infamous for discovering? Could you get high off of it?
After some language issues, Mr. Sheriff did something no other business man has done. He offered me comet dust. My own comet dust.
It was the Playaz Business Model executed to perfection, but in a way I've never seen. I had to have this man on our side. So I formally extended him an offer to join our Organization.
To: Rigo Ghana Limted
From: Phil Braun
Mr. Sheriff -
I must admit, you are some sort of financial wizard.
When I first believed you were selling Gold Dust, naturally I was intrigued. We have had great success in getting extaordiarily high off of Comet Dust, which I informed you that we discovered and control all of its existence here on Earth.
Then, you wanted to sell me Comet Dust, which we already own.
I can only come to one conclusion: to offer you a position with our organization.
We would like you, Mr. Sheriff, to come work for us.
Being a man of your stature and intelligence, we need only to know what you would require of us in the way of salary. We are prepared to pay you whatever it will take to have you run our finance/sales department.
Please respond swiftly, before your talents are recognized by another organization.
Sincerely,
Phil P. Braun
President
This morning, I received Mr. Sheriff's reply...
To: Phil Braun
Subject: AM WILLING AND READY TO WORK WITH YOU
DEAR PHIL,
IAM WELL IMPRESSED WITH YOUR REPLY TO ME.IN SINCEREITY,I APPRECIATE AND COMPLIMENT YOU AS WITH ACCUMULATED KNOWLEDGE AND WISDOM POWER TO DISCOVERED A TALENTED ONE LIKE ME SUITABLE IN A PARTICULAR POSITION RELATING MARKETING AND AS POSSIBLE I COULD SERVE AS SALES MANAGER OF ALL KINDS OF PRODUCTS.
I HEREBY GIVEN YOU A NAME VERY FIT NAME FOR FOUNDERS(A GENUISE).AS YOU MAY KNOW AM DOWN HERE ACCRA GHANA IN WEST AFRICA SO HOW POSSIBBLE ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE IT REAL WITH YOUR PERSONALITY AND TRAVEL EXPOSURE FOR ME TO MEET WITH YOU IN YOUR COUNTRY FOR MORE DETAILS,OTHER BUSINESS
DISCUSSIONS TO ACHIEVE WITH YOU AND ALSO MAKE KNOWN TO YOU MY LIFE HISTORY AND HOBBY LIKE FOR ONWARD GENERALL FINANCIAL MAKING.
WE SOUNDS THE SAME TYPE OF PERSON THAT WITH UNDERSTANDING BOTH OF US WILL JOIN HANDS TOGETHER AND MAKE MORE FINACIAL BETTER FUTURE FOR OURSELF.
I FEEL AND CAN KNOW THAT WITH YOUR TYPE OF PERSON WE CAN JOIN-TOGETHER IN BUSINESS AND MAKE TOO MUCH MONEY.AM WILLING AND EVER-READY TO WORK WITH YOU AND YOUR ORGANIZATION.
I WILL MLIKE TO MEET WITH YOU FOR FACE TO FACE DISCUSSION IN THE AREA OF WHAT I WILL REQUIRE OF YOU IN THE WAY OF SALARY.I ASSURE YOU WITH ME RUNNING THE DEPARTMENT,THE SUCCESS OF YOUR FINANCE/SALE DEPARTMENT WILL BE STEADY ACHIEVED TO YOU SATISFACTION INCLUDING THE GROWTH OF YOUR
ENTIRE ORGANIZATION IN PROGRESS.
UPON YOUR EXPECTED RESPONSE TO THIS MAIL WILL ENABLE US TO FURTHER AHEAD FOR FINANCIAL SUCCESS ACHIEVEMENTS.KINDLY INCLUDE YOUR CONTACT DETAILS,I WILL LIKE TO START SPEAKING WITH YOU FROM THIS INITIAL STAGE FOR THE PURPOSE VOICE RECOGNISION.
I AWAIT YOUR COOPERATIVE RESPONSE IN ALL ACCORD.
BEST REGARDS,
MR.SHERIFF.
--Success!!---
To: Mr. Sheriff Ahmed
From: Phil Braun
This is most excellent news, Mr. Sheriff.
I am most able to travel as I have my own personal jet - unfortunately, it is currently in use by great country singer Kenny Rogers.
However, I plan on speaking with you in haste.
In the meantime, I will be sending you some information regarding our arrangement. Please wait by your computer for my correspondence.
Sincerely,
Phil P. Braun
--------------------
To: Phil Braun
From: Sheriff Ahmed
Dear Phil,
Thanks for your prompt response and the content of your mail was quietly understood. I promise you that now and onwards as soonest. I will be checking for your mail .However expecting your information regarding the arrangement as necessary.Am now often ready by my computer waiting for your cooperative response with inclusive of your contact details.
Hoping to hear from you urgently.
Best Regards,
Mr. Sheriff.
Posted by Phil at May 14, 2007 9:08 AM
Comments
This guy sounds like he would be a better sales manager than even Borat!
Posted by: Brianf at May 14, 2007 11:05 AM
Excited as he sounds, something tells me he'll be none too pleased when you inform him that hell him he'll work on commission and be paid in Kenny & Bon's Roasters gift cards.
Posted by: Hammer at May 14, 2007 12:15 PM
Wow, Phil. You're a genuise.
Posted by: Saidah at May 14, 2007 9:19 PM
Wow Phil, this was indeed carried out genuisely. I like how they use adverbs so expertly. I also appreciate how they are quietly placed post-sentencedly. I hope to see further correspondence, and that you move forward with this business plan and join hands most homosexually.
Posted by: paully at May 15, 2007 1:08 AM
Saidah, its the name I have been given (for founders).
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