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June 19, 2007
An email I did not expect
UPDATE: 6/19/07; 1:45 p.m.
(Note: you may read all correspondence related to this post in the "Mr. Sheriff Chronicles")
When we left off yesterday, the information that a third party was now trying to sidle up to the Playaz had left Mr. Sheriff extremely concerned. So concerned that I thought our new friend Mr. Mike would not live to see the dawn.
Then I received a very unexpected email (second note - there is a word in this email...a highly offensive one...that was used, and in a context I don't even fully understand. I have debated and debated about removing it completely, but in the end decided to leave it as it was written to me. I did slightly edit the word just because it nearly knocked me over when I read it, and I just don't want it staring me in the face - so, without further adieu):
To: Phil Braun
From: Michael Teigaga
Dear Sir,
I want you to invite one Sheriff Ahmed to your email communication because I trust him very much in his part of dealing with clients. He is perfect in catching clients in which to obtain or get good money from them.
Believe you me that we are connection business G.n*ggers/merchants; we are good in making money from legitimate businesses and at the same time perfect in taking money from O.B.T businesses, and most of the time move for pleasure and grooving activities.
Invite Mr. Sheriff to join me in working with you, I assure you that upon his invitation to work in your company, success and too much money must be for us always.
Mr. Sheriff is very good and perfect in catching clients through the internet. Please make sure to reach him through his private mail address (sahmed.gh024@yahoo.com), However his involvement in your company attached with me is a necessity for the growth of your company financially.
Please contact him through his private mail address (sahmed.gh024@yahoo.com) then you will notice his convincing power and strong in catching and maintaining clients to the extent of taking monies from them till the clients becomes no financial job. Enclose attached is my international Drivers Permit once more again.I will wait for your response and please keep this information to your self.
Sincerely,
Michael Teigaga
Tel: +2332466107
Mr. Teigaga's grasp of the English language aside, I found his invitation of Mr. Sheriff to the conversation baffling. Sworn enemies now friends? Did Mr. Sheriff put him up to it? Is Mr. Sheriff's "new" personal email address another ploy to cut out Mr. Sheriff completely?
As a man of honor, I decided to let Mr. Sheriff know about these latest developments (and to hopefully spur him to work on his required essay):
To: Sheriff Ahmed
From Phil Braun
Subj: Our "friend" has contacted me again
In case you were unaware, Mr. Teigaga has contacted me again - this time, wanting to include you in the correspondance. I do not know if this is a joke or not, but I wanted to alert you to this potential progress barrier.
I do not have the money to hire two employees: only one. Thus, I wanted to see how dedicated one would be by writing a brief report on important men Kenny Rogers, Larry Holmes, or Conway Twitty - men important to our organization.
I have just closed a large Dust transaction and now have $80,000.00 in my account.
If I receive the report I desire, our understanding will be complete.
My best to you Mr. Sheriff
Phil Braun
I have also instructed Mr. Teigaga to write a report as well. Just in case.
-------------------------------
New email received:
To: Phil Braun
From: Sheriff Ahmed
Dear Phil,
Wow…………………………………..
Well I don't have any thing to say now regarding what Mr. Mike requested of me until I finish with the essay.This is to let you know that am taking my time to write down the essay, and will get back to you at the soonest. So kindly be in expectation of the essay.
Best Regards,
Mr.Sheriff.
Posted by Phil at June 19, 2007 9:02 AM
Comments
I like a man who is "perfect at catching clients", and yet also is "perfect at taking their money", particularly for grooving activities.
I must say, even the Playaz are impressed with their ruthless nature.
Posted by: Bon at June 19, 2007 9:27 AM
Phil, I don't know what prestigious university these Nigerians hail from, but the Playaz should go there for on-campus recruitment. Perhaps you could set up an internship programme (
Posted by: homeimprovementninja at June 19, 2007 10:10 AM
HIN - I agree, and maybe we should look into these "O.B.T. businesses" that Mr. Mike speaks of as well.
Bon- that's pleasure & grooving activities.
Posted by: Phil at June 19, 2007 12:58 PM
Want to know what's really going on here? It's like this:
Mr. Sheriff has already killed Mr. Teigaga and assumed control of his email and other particulars. This request to include Mr. Teigaga in the business arrangement is nothing more than an attempt to draw a double salary. However, by insisting on hiring one person only, you have foiled this masterful scheme.
Mr. Sheriff is as brilliant as he is ruthless. Clearly, he is the GRAND MASTER of business.
Posted by: Hammer at June 19, 2007 1:35 PM
I'm glad you have noticed my counter, Hammer.
Some might say "but Phil, by having them sign the contract, wouldn't YOU be the one receiving two salaries?" Yes, but in order to appear 'on the level', I must not overplay my hand. The Playaz are not greedy after all. Plus, I let Mr. Sheriff know I will not be fooled.
Posted by: Phil at June 19, 2007 1:42 PM
I can't wait for the GMOB to start catching and maintaining clients for us. Sounds like he might be caging them and them turning them free only after they relinquish to us their birthright. I love his vindictive and ruthless spirit. It will be an honor serving along side of him.
Posted by: Bon at June 19, 2007 3:48 PM
"then you will notice his convincing power and strong in catching and maintaining clients to the extent of taking monies from them till the clients becomes no financial job."
I think these nigerians don't understand the meaning of the word "client."
Posted by: AUA at June 19, 2007 5:13 PM
How dare you question the GRAND MASTER OF BUSINESS?!
I must give Phil respect for being so brilliant in this scenario. What better way to settle a raging business dispute between two Nigerian entepreneures, than to have them write a paper on Kenny Rogers?
Posted by: Bon at June 19, 2007 5:49 PM
Regarding the offensive word, the G. obviously stands for Gold, as they work for the Akoko Gold Mining Company. I can only assume the second part was a typo, they meant to insert a D where the N was mistyped, thus they were just good "Gold Diggers." I believe this should satisfy all.
Posted by: The Captain at June 22, 2007 9:11 AM
That would make sense, Captain.
For the life of me, I couldn't figure that one out.
Posted by: Phil at June 22, 2007 9:28 AM
I prefer to think they are "pleasure grooving n*gger merchants"
operating the luxury cruise of the slave trade.
That International Driver's Permit is probably his Captain's License.
Posted by: The Reverend at June 24, 2007 12:14 PM
Does that have anything to do with "O.B.T. Businesses"?
I didn't know what that was, but did not want to sound foolish and ask.
Posted by: Phil at June 25, 2007 8:51 AM
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In this case... all of the above, my friend.
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