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May 7, 2008
President Bush reports that most 3 a.m. phone calls just the Guv'na, drunk
After much speculation and debate amongst current Presidential hopefuls as to which candidate would be best suited to handle a phone call to the White House at 3 a.m., President Bush stated that the vast majority of calls coming in at 3 a.m. are "usually the Guv'na, drunk."
"Might I converse briefly with the President of the United States, m'lady? Yes, I know what time it is. Wake him, post-haste, before I make sick!"
Bush remarked that during his eight years in office, he has probably received thousands of phone calls that have awoken him in the wee hours of the morning, only to discover it is the Guv'na on the other end of the line.
"He is often inebriated, incoherent, and usually demanding something," said Bush. "Often times he is demanding I send out the Presidential motorcade to come pick him up and drive him somewhere...either a brothel or Waffle House or some other god-forsaken place," he added. "God, I wish he'd stop calling so often sometimes."
The President, patiently listening to another of the Guv'na's drunken late-night phone calls
The Guv'na says that he only recalls contacting the President at "reasonable hours" and that the conversations are of "high importance". The President contradicted the Guv'na's statements saying "unless 'high importance' means talking to me for over an hour and a half about how 'that bitch' Condoleeza will never go out on a date with him, or how this mannequin at JC Penney closely resembles Ed McMahon."
The Guv'na most recently telephoned the President at approximately 3:06 a.m. Sunday morning to tell him that he was "his best buddy" and that he should awake the Treasury secretary and have him print off a few sheets of $100 dollar bills and go to Vegas or somewhere.
Posted by Phil at May 7, 2008 10:35 AM
Comments
Guvna has always wanted to lay with Condoleeza
Posted by: Bon at May 7, 2008 8:52 PM
If you Google "bitch Condoleeza", this site comes up first (after 2 video clips). I fear the Secret Service may be giving Phil a call.
Posted by: Raul at May 8, 2008 8:14 AM
I must say that I would sully the good name of Miss Rice.
Posted by: Guvna at May 8, 2008 10:42 AM
Guv'na, do you recall that time you got the President's voice mail, and you played Prince's entire 1999 album on it?
Posted by: Phil at May 8, 2008 11:32 AM
I know I am late to this recent party, but I am so glad to see the Playaz back in fine form. How the hell is everyone???? All the best from your best Restaurant Gal.
Posted by: Restaurant Gal at May 8, 2008 9:10 PM
We are well, RG - the coffers are filling up for the Playaz, like so much botox to Kenny Rogers forehead.
Posted by: Phil at May 8, 2008 10:07 PM
Philemon, while I must admit a certain guilty pleasure with regards to Prince Rogers Nelson, I do not recall such an event. I do recall the President and I having quite a laugh during "D.M.S.R." (you know, the stinging bee part). I suppose it's possible that I simply went to sleep after placing the needle on side B...
Posted by: Guvna at May 12, 2008 1:56 PM
I do remember that part of DMSR -- Prince somehow allowed that bee into the studio with him, and got stung rather badly at the song's opening. As we know, they left Prince's scream in the final recording.
Posted by: Phil at May 12, 2008 2:12 PM
A classic production call by Prince himself. "Leave that sh*t in!" I believe were his words.
Posted by: Guvna at May 12, 2008 5:17 PM
Do you fellows recall at the beginning of "Photograph" by Def Leppard when the guitarist drops his pick after strumming the few couple of notes? They also decided to leave that in and I think it makes the song.
Posted by: Raul at May 13, 2008 10:29 AM