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June 17, 2008
Bush pleads with Playaz to increase oil production from their personal oil rig
President Bush met with the Playaz recently at their beachfront Headquarters in Isle of Palms, South Carolina, attempting to persuade the Playaz to increase oil production from their personal oil rig situated just off the beach in front of their home.
In an effort to offset rising fuel costs, Bush specifically asked the Playaz to release approximately one million barrels a day to the general public, despite the Playaz' insistence that the oil is for personal use only.
The Playaz' oil rig, just off the shore at island resort Wild Dunes in the Isle of Palms, SC
The Playaz rig was constructed in 1976, prior to Jimmy Carter's election as President, and primarily is used to gas up their SUV's and private jets (the crude oil is refined in the Playaz' basement).
The Guv'na informed President Bush that the Playaz had very little oil they could spare. The Guv'na excused himself from the meeting, informing Bush that the Playaz were flying to nearby Charleston (roughly a 20 minute drive) for dinner. It is noted that the Playaz "carbon footprint" is roughly the size of five planets (the planets being Jupiter).
It was the second such visit by Bush, who was politely rebuffed in his first meeting as well, when Larry Holmes informed the President that he "best get out of their face".
Posted by Phil at June 17, 2008 10:41 AM
Comments
The oil rig had me laughing out loud. Too funny. If it caught on fire and had to be capped, or you needed to subdue an oil leak with beach goers covered in black crude...even funnier.
Posted by: Washington Cube at June 17, 2008 3:30 PM
It has put several children at risk where they typically gather at the gazebo you see in the foreground. Parents tend to get quite angered when their kids are doused with gas & oil set ablaze because Kenny removed a safety valve and didn't set the flange properly.
Posted by: Phil at June 17, 2008 4:05 PM
For some reason, I imagine Bush let out a lot of those odd little chuckles he does: "Heh, heh, Playaz, heh, I mean, I've got an addiction, heh, to oil, heh, heh, and I mean, it needs to get fed, you know?"
Posted by: Matt Boyd at June 18, 2008 8:50 AM
He has that "itch", too. Like a heroin-itch.
Posted by: Phil at June 18, 2008 3:28 PM
I am pretty sure our governor here in Florida would welcome any assistance you could lend him to put a rig like yours in front of every condo and hotel on the beach!
Posted by: Restaurant Gal at June 19, 2008 8:10 AM
The Chinese are drilling 50 miles off the coast of Key West, on behalf of Cuba.
These things anger the Playaz - if the US would simply do the same, then the gov't would stop asking us for our oil.
Have you ever seen an oil rig lit up at night? It's quite beautiful.
Posted by: Phil at June 19, 2008 10:16 AM
Is W holding The Guv'na's hand? What kind of skullduggery is this? Some sort of Skulls and Bones booya behavior?
"I fear you are one of those desert loving English, Orrance."
Obviously in his lust for oil haze, W is seeing Guv'na as Lawrence of Arabia with himself in the "Ali of Sharif" role played by Omar Shaif, and they are about to go off into the desert to fight Turks (Iraquis will do) or something.
Posted by: Washington Cube at June 19, 2008 3:39 PM
The President's show of respect, Cube. The Playaz' sometimes use this as a method of persuasion.
Like, when the President asked if he could have a little 'bump' of our comet dust, the Guv'na instantly crushed Bush's hand reminiscent of Superman and General Zod.
Posted by: Phil at June 19, 2008 4:52 PM
The Playaz had the oil rig installed in order to keep our homeowners rates low.
Unfortunately, there was the whole Greenpeace incident at one point, but I killed all of .....err I mean they decided to protest elsewhere after some intense negotiations.
Posted by: Bon at June 19, 2008 10:13 PM
I think they moved when when they overheard "Did they have faces? Did they have hands? Yes? Then it wasn't us."
Posted by: Washington Cube at June 19, 2008 10:50 PM