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July 9, 2008
Fantastic Voyage
"All systems are go. We have entered Phil's bloodstream and have maneuvered our way into the esophagus. By being shrunk to microscopic size, we'll be able to explore Phil and hopefully be able to cure him."
"Phil has not fully recovered from his previous health issues?"
"That's right. Ever since Phil left Playaz Ball 2007 to seek out Wayne's mysterious absence and headed for the African coast, we don't know what illness befell him."
"Oh yeah....what ever became of all that?"
"No time to explain now! Look, we are approaching Phil's heart."
"Dear God! It appears to be coated in melted cheese!"
"Ah yes...I believe we will find cheese coursing through Phil's veins...like a magic congealed bond that holds the very strands of life together."
"Hold on, Playaz, it appears we are getting close to the stomach. I understand Kenny is able to view us through their monitors."
"Magnificent! Just as we expected....the "doughnut caverns" we've heard so much about. It is believed Phil's stomach contains at least 24 doughnuts at any given time."
"Does he even chew them? I've never noticed."
"No. Apparently he consumes them whole. His teeth have lost all of their enamel over time, and I believe he is incapable of chewing most foods."
"What's that?!"
"Salt! Mixed with cocaine....Phil's love of all things salted, combined with copious useage of cocaine have created these pillars as the two collected within his stomach."
"Come, Playaz. We have a long journey ahead. Let us partake in this salt-cocaine pillar to give us energy...."
Posted by Phil at July 9, 2008 9:26 PM
Comments
After all this time, the way to a man's heart ends up being through his esophagus?
Posted by: I-66 at July 10, 2008 9:07 AM
The inside of my stomach looks exactly the same.
Posted by: Lemmonex at July 11, 2008 10:10 AM
My stomach has been a bit upset recently. I hope the Playaz aren't gnawing on the doughnuts in there.
Posted by: Phil at July 11, 2008 10:30 AM
mmmmm..cheesy heart...and Doughnut caverns...THATS why i like chewing up boys soooo much!!
xoxo
Posted by: suicide_blond at July 11, 2008 2:26 PM
When this all goes horribly awry - and it will - you're gonna wish you had Bruce Willis on board.
Posted by: Hammer at July 14, 2008 5:37 PM