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February 19, 2009

Guv'na says he had only "positive experiences" with Travis the Chimp

Guv'na reported yesterday that despite the horrifying events that resulted in probable death at the hands of a chimpanzee named "Travis", that he had only "positive experiences" with the murderous ape.

"I had nothing but positive experiences with Travis. He was always very polite, and had excellent manners. We went to dinner together often, and engaged in very meaningful, philosophical discussions with Travis. He often picked up the check, and he tipped very well," Guv'na said.

Guv'na and Travis enjoy an evening of fine dining together

In spite of recent news that "Travis" attacked and possibly killed a person, and subsequent news of previous aggressive behavior from the primate, Guv'na stated that he considered the chimp a "perfect gentleman".

"I can only count on one hand the number of time Travis beared his teeth to me, and almost never hurled a single bit of fecal matter in anyone's direction, that I saw," Guv'na added.

Police are investigating whether or not the Guv'na was Travis's Xanax supplier.

Posted by Phil at February 19, 2009 1:19 PM