Believe you me that we are connection business G.n*ggers/merchants; we are good in making money from legitimate businesses and at the same time perfect in taking money from O.B.T businesses, and most of the time move for pleasure and grooving activities.

Invite Mr. Sheriff to join me in working with you, I assure you that upon his invitation to work in your company, success and too much money must be for us always.

Mr. Sheriff is very good and perfect in catching clients through the internet. Please make sure to reach him through his private mail address (sahmed.gh024@yahoo.com), However his involvement in your company attached with me is a necessity for the growth of your company financially.

Please contact him through his private mail address (sahmed.gh024@yahoo.com) then you will notice his convincing power and strong in catching and maintaining clients to the extent of taking monies from them till the clients becomes no financial job. Enclose attached is my international Drivers Permit once more again.I will wait for your response and please keep this information to your self.

Sincerely,
Michael Teigaga
Tel: +2332466107

Mr. Teigaga's grasp of the English language aside, I found his invitation of Mr. Sheriff to the conversation baffling. Sworn enemies now friends? Did Mr. Sheriff put him up to it? Is Mr. Sheriff's "new" personal email address another ploy to cut out Mr. Sheriff completely?

As a man of honor, I decided to let Mr. Sheriff know about these latest developments (and to hopefully spur him to work on his required essay):

To: Sheriff Ahmed
From Phil Braun
Subj: Our "friend" has contacted me again

In case you were unaware, Mr. Teigaga has contacted me again - this time, wanting to include you in the correspondance. I do not know if this is a joke or not, but I wanted to alert you to this potential progress barrier.

I do not have the money to hire two employees: only one. Thus, I wanted to see how dedicated one would be by writing a brief report on important men Kenny Rogers, Larry Holmes, or Conway Twitty - men important to our organization.

I have just closed a large Dust transaction and now have $80,000.00 in my account.

If I receive the report I desire, our understanding will be complete.

My best to you Mr. Sheriff

Phil Braun

I have also instructed Mr. Teigaga to write a report as well. Just in case.

-------------------------------

New email received:

To: Phil Braun
From: Sheriff Ahmed

Dear Phil,

Wow�������������..

Well I don't have any thing to say now regarding what Mr. Mike requested of me until I finish with the essay.This is to let you know that am taking my time to write down the essay, and will get back to you at the soonest. So kindly be in expectation of the essay.

Best Regards,

Mr.Sheriff.

Posted by Phil at 9:02 AM | Comments (12)

June 18, 2007

Two's company, three's a crowd

Phil's note: for your convenience these posts regarding Mr. Sheriff can all be found under our Categories section (located in the sidebar to the right)under the "Mr. Sheriff Chronicles".

When we left off last week, Mr. Sheriff had replied that everything was in good order - he had executed the document and would return it upon my understanding that I deposit some money in his "dormant" bank account in order to activate it, which would then "motivate and strengthen" his ability to work for us.

In the meantime, however, I had received a SECOND email - from "Mike Teigaga". I have no idea who this man is or how he caught wind that the Playaz might be looking to hire bright young talent. But here is his email:

Dear Sir,
Compliment of the season. My name is Michael Teigaga, I wish to inform you that I have gone though your website and decided to write you because I will like to work with you in aria of marketing your business both the game and the pharmaceutical drugs.
I am working at Akoko Goldfield Mining company here in Ghana and I have get more customers for the company but my salary is not good at all and even the company is now owning me four months salary now.
I find your company as I was searching for good company that I can work with in America and after reading your profile I decided to work with you because I know that if my request is granted I will work very hard to market your product in Africa and also around the world and I will also look for more lucrative business to introduce to you.
Sir it would be my pressure to endorse whatever agreement once I let a lawyer review the agreement and let me know that is okay.
Please I am ready to forward my complete personal information to you if only you are interested to employ me.
I will forget about my company and prepare to move to your base once we get things right and have my visa. Enclose attached is my international Drivers Permit.
I will wait for your response and please keep this information to your self.
Sincerely,
Michael Teigaga
Tel:+2332466107

Mr. Teigaga's official driver's permit

This was certainly interesting. This man sounded quite convicted of his qualifications.

Mr. Sheriff re-sent his last email three times. It appeared he was getting anxious. I replied....but there was now an interesting twist....

To: Mr. Sheriff Ahmed
From: Phil Braun

Dear Mr. Sheriff

This is good news.

However, I must confess to you, I am in a bit of a quandry. You see, not but a few days ago while awaiting your earliest response, I received an email from Mike Teigaga of Ghana...and he ALSO urged our consideration to hire HIM for the very same position.

He was very adamant and even vowed to forget about his company in order to work for us.

Plus, Mike even sent us an authentic driver's permit proving that he is who he says and that he is willing to work very hard in both the game and pharmeceutical drugs.

He has asked me to keep his email confidential, but since we are so far along in our negotiations I am copying you his email here, along with attaching his driver's permit for your eyes to see:

Copy of Mr. Teigaga's email was copied here

I am to meet with the members of our organization and Kenny Rogers (CEO) to discuss how to handle the situation.

Any suggestions are welcome.

Sincerely,
Phil Braun
Playaz, Inc.

It didn't take long for Mr. Sheriff to respond. And he was not happy.

Dear Phil,

Good to hear this kind of information from as sign of sincere person you are.Based on this and on wards i must not dought you personality.

As a matter of fact,Mr.Mike is a friend of mine but just an ordinary driver that drives our costomer (s) to any destination during gold deal.Mike's mail to you was a great suprise to me why because in two occassion i have got him closer in my office to see the correspondence opportunity with you that has come my way never knowing that he will raise an eye brow, envy and hate me not to flurish and achieve the front coming success of working with you,mike is a (progress barrier).

For your information,he is not competent,business wise and capable like me,mike is absolutely a novice in the area of business management/care you are choosing me for,and he don't have knowledge to convince costumers in advance and beyond doubt.mike is limited in the area of business management and have no update ideas in getting and convincing customers.

He just want terminate and spoil the mutual understanding between you and me as am moving ahead for your worker in the PLAYAZ INC.

AM THE GRAND MASTER TO MIKE IN BUSINESS OF ANY KIND SO FAR TO APPLY WISDOM AND IDEAS IS CONCERN.

I hereby to ask you to suspend entirely and put a total stop to any of his communication via emails,calls and otherwise.I will not like you to have a bad encounter and bitter experience.Follow my advice and do it for your own business progress with me O.K.

I need to hear from you that you have honestly put a total stop to communicate with mike in any means,ignore all his mail and don't reply him any longer.mike is a (PROGRESS BARRIER).Send to me mike's email ID.

I await your swift response at the earliest.

Best Regards,
Mr.Sheriff.

I wanted to remain diplomatic about the situation, but fair. Mr. Sheriff made a strong argument as to Mr. Mike being a "PROGRESS BARRIER". That said, I needed to know Mr. Sheriff was, in fact, our man for the job. Larry Holmes was sorely in need of a back rub, after all.

Mr. Sheriff -

This is certainly a concern. However, how am I to know what is fact? Perhaps Mr. Teigaga is the more qualified? But I appreciate your vindictiveness.

I am taking your letter to heart and believing what you say. I do not wish to give Mike's email so as not to alert him that I have informed you of his writing as he asked of me.

My best outcome is to be 100% convinced that Mr. Sheriff is the man we want. Therefore, I would ask one thing of you:

I would like for you to write a brief essay on one of the following individuals: 1) Kenny Rogers, 2) Larry Holmes, or 3) Conway Twitty. You may choose any one of the 3. It does not have to be too long. Perhaps 500 words maximum.

The reasoning is: These 3 individuals have much to do with our company's success and are highly revered by the Partnerz. Once you have completed this task, I will be convinced you are the most dedicated and have a full understanding of the people important to the company, and at that time, I will not communicate any further with Mike Teigaga. They can be easily researched via teh internets by typing any of their names into The Google.

I will await your essay and will not communicate with Mr. Mike in the meantime.

All my best,
Phil Braun
Playaz, Inc.

As of this posting, I had not yet received the essay I seek to convince me Mr. Sheriff's need is in fact our supply.

But what would happen next astounded me....

(to be continued)

Posted by Phil at 9:07 AM | Comments (8)

June 15, 2007

Mr. Teigaga Strikes Back

Received Thu Jun 14 2007

To: Phil Braun
From: Sheriff Ahmed

DEAR PHIL,

I HAVE EXECUTED THE AGREEMENT WAITING TO BE RETURNED TO YOU SOONEST FOLLOWS AS THE FACT OF ONE AT A TIME OR ONE AFTER THE OTHER.

BELOW IS MY PERSONAL DETAILS IN ORDER TO BEGIN PROCESSING MY INFORMATION IMMEDIATELY.

Name: SHERIFF K. AHMED

Age: 32YRS

Date of Birth: 22nd NOVEMBER 1975

Residence/Address: NT 202/4

Bank Accounts: HOPE THE SAME WITH THE (BANK ACCOUNT NO).

Bank Account No.: DOMANT.

Personal ID Nos.: PERSONAL ID/NOS NOT AVAILABLE

Copy of Driver's License: MISSING.

Mother's maiden name: MRS.MEMUNA.

REGARDING MY ACCOUNT, I WILL APPRECIATE YOU TO REACTIVATE IT FOR ME WITH SOME LITTLE AMOUNT TO KEEP IT FUNTIONING AND ENABLE THE UPFRONT SIGNING FEES.UPON YOUR POSITIVE ANSWER CONCERNING MY ACCOUNT, IT WILL MOTIVATE AND STRENTHEN MY ABILITY TO WORK WITH YOU AND MAKE ME RETURN THE EXECUTED AGREEMENT IMMEDIATELY WITH NO FURTHER DELAY.

HOPING YOU TO UNDERSTAND ME CLEARLY IN ALL THE ABOVE ACKNOWLEGDEMENTS.

KINDLY BEGIN PROCESSES MY INFORMATION AS THE AGREEMENT IS ABOUT TO FOLLOW.

I WAIT TO HEAR GOOD NEWS IN YOUR EARLIEST RESPONSE.

BEST REGARDS,

MR.SHERIFF.

Bon: Everything looks in order here. Phil, we must hire this man immediately...he is our last hope.
Phil: No...there is another.........................................

To be continued.

Posted by Phil at 8:47 AM | Comments (18)

June 13, 2007

Kenny Rogers attempts to cross river on back of Charlie Daniels; Daniels drowns

Kenny Rogers, in a brash show of bravado, attempted to ride bareback across the Eden River on top of country musician Charlie Daniels at the annual Appleby Horse Fair, which ended in tragedy.

In what has become an annual ritual at the Fair, dozens of riders will cross the river on horseback. Rogers, instead, mounted Mr. Daniels and waded into the river before Daniels lost his footing in deep waters.

Apparently unable to swim due to the weight of Rogers, Daniels drowned before he could be pulled to shore.

"The riders try to be 'macho'," stated one horrified onlooker. "They will traditionally dunk the horses' heads underwater, and they start to swim across," he added. Rogers dunked Daniels head under water, at which point a frightened Daniels panicked, and sank to the bottom of the river.

Many onlookers immediately attempted to retrieve Daniels, but it was too late. The hefty country singer was dead by the time they pulled him to shore.

A distraught Kenny answered investigators questions before leaving immediately on the Playaz jet to return to their Headquarters.

The lifeless Daniels lies on the bank as Kenny answers questions

Posted by Phil at 1:35 PM | Comments (8)

June 11, 2007

'Next tomorrow' has finally arrived

Finally, we have received word from our prospective employee, Mr. Sheriff. He has a few questions, it seems.

To catch some of you up on the story, you may click on these links to follow along:

Mr. Sheriff emails the Playaz, originally to sell us "Gold Dust". I ask if it is anything like our own Comet Dust. Mr. Sheriff is initially confused, but later offers to sell us our own Comet Dust instead.

Having executed our own business model to perfection, I do what I must: I offer Mr. Sheriff a position with our organization.

I forward to Mr. Sheriff our contract for gainful employment with the Playaz. Mr. Sheriff assures me he will be back in touch.

(View the contract here)

Present Day

I received this email from Mr. Sheriff after review of our contract:

To: Phil Braun
From: Sheriff Ahmed
Subject: I STILL ASK FOR YOUR COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING

Dear Phil,

Am writing in readiness to do business with you. It takes me these days and time to achieve a meaningful conclusion with my lawyer regarding the contents of the employment agreement that you sent to me.

As a matter of fact to work with your organization for business, I will appreciate you to understand me in the area of negotiating some of your conditions which will balance us in dealing business together as the agreement contains for life under the playaz.

As to exhibit focused purposes for you, I don't need to be in rush o.k. Give me your time as we must definitely achieve your heart-desires.

As you may know am an African with no too much knowledge like you.

1) Kindly explain to my understanding the nature and type of your business/PLAYAZ.

2) As your term for life agreement, how much is you're signing fees?

3) Why do you prefer the life agreement?

4) What is your employment benefit for services under this agreement to enable my mind up making?

5) What will be my job position in your company and the department to manage?

6) How much will you pay me according to my valuable knowledge and experience which is qualified to suit your company?

7) What as my job to earn enough money for myself and to pay the company the base salary of $150,000,00 per annum

8) In a week how many days do I have to work?

9) As necessary and job required I know that I will devote attention and energies to the business of the company but upon working with you ,is part time leave and e.g. attracted to me in which to communicate and attend important affairs and my family.

10) I can understand that contacting customers to transact business with our company PLAYAZ is part of my job roll.

Kindly answer and clarify me on the above stated to enable me to have firm grounds regarding signing of the agreement in addition with your requirements.

Upon the positive response and clarification from you, I will provide you with your requirements. I await your swift response.

Best Regards,
Mr.Sheriff.

NOTICE:THIS IS THE MOMENT OF SURE, ACCURATE AND NO RUSH.

I have attempted to address Mr. Sheriff's inquiries as best I can in a timely manner.

1) Kindly explain to my understanding the nature and type of your business/PLAYAZ.

We are a conglomerate consisting of five (5) mustachioed individuals...Gentlemen of Leisure, if you will...our Business is just that: Business....you may best understand by viewing our business model which someday we will present to you on a top of the line overhead projector. Essentially when someone wants to transact business they will pay us a hefty fee. Then we blow that money on airplanes, gold toilets, finely woven turtlenecks, etc. Then repeat the process.

2) As your term for life agreement, how much is you're signing fees?

We would like to pay you $80,000.00. We would like to.

3) Why do you prefer the life agreement?

We feel that any employee worthy of our consideration must shun the things in his previous life, and totally dedicate himself to the Playaz. Why would you want anything less?

4) What is your employment benefit for services under this agreement to enable my mind up making?

To ensure the mind making, we wish to assure you that your benefit will be lifelong association with the most well known organization on the planet. Walk into any business and say "I am with the Playaz! They demand your attention and your money! Your need is our supply!" You will find endless riches will then fall at your feet.

5) What will be my job position in your company and the department to manage?

You will head up our Comet Dust Division, and other general business.

6) How much will you pay me according to my valuable knowledge and experience which is qualified to suit your company?

Your salary is limitless. Once we have attained your knowledge and experience, your association with us will generate you riches beyond your wildest dreams. You will not receive a 'salary' from Playaz, Inc.

7) What as my job to earn enough money for myself and to pay the company the base salary of $150,000,00 per annum

Your want is our desire to have the resources to pay us (the company) the base salary required. You will have that. The earnings is your reward. Which will fullfill our supply.

8) In a week how many days do I have to work?

8

9) As necessary and job required I know that I will devote attention and energies to the business of the company but upon working with you ,is part time leave and e.g. attracted to me in which to communicate and attend important affairs and my family.

You will be allowed communication with your family only upon express written permission received from Larry Holmes.

10) I can understand that contacting customers to transact business with our company PLAYAZ is part of my job roll.

Excellent.

Posted by Phil at 9:45 AM | Comments (5)

June 8, 2007

Tac punches Alabama state senator for "disrespecting Kenny"

A blow to the face of Alabama State Sen. Lowell Barron was captured on Alabama Public Television, when Tac punched the democratic lawmaker for "disrespecting the work of Kenny Rogers".

The fracas evolved over a debate on the floor of the Senate as to the virtues of Kenny Rogers' legacy as a musician and performer.

Several Senators introduced a bill that claimed Kenny was not the greatest country musician of all time, with evidence showing that Kenny did not write many of his own hit tunes - specifically siting that Lionel Ritchie was responsible for several Kenny 'classics' as an example.

Tac then began a three-day filibuster to wear down the Senate. Tac spoke for 72 consecutive hours about Kenny Rogers.

By the time the floor was open to a vote, Sen. Barron called Kenny a "son of a b*tch", at which point Tac assaulted the Senator and punched him in the face.

After then threatening the remaining Senate lawmakers, the bill was shot down unanimously.

Posted by Phil at 9:36 AM | Comments (22)

June 5, 2007

Dear Mr. Sheriff

Dear Mr. Sheriff,

Mr. Sherriff - how does the day find you?

I have been seeking and seeking your email, but nothing....I assume you are no longer interested in our arrangement.

all my best,
Phil

Dear Phil,
Sorry for the braek and delay in communication why because i had a sad event that befalls my parents in which the whole of the period i have no access to my mail before now.

I apologise any inconvinience this might have caused to you,please bear and give me your understanding to enable us to forge ahead to achieve your aims and positive dreams therein in one mind.

I hereby to assure you However, i will accord your business very speedy attention from now and onwards.

I have stated down all you requested from me waiting to send to you by next tomorrow immediately after meeting with my legal practisioner/lawyer.

The volume of my interest in our arrangement is still strong and upcooperate as am seriously intene to work with your organization.

Kindly reply me speedly to make me known that you understand me in this particular mail after break in communication.Your need is my supply.

Best Regards,
Mr.Sheriff.

Dear Mr. Sheriff,

I understand completely.

Posted by Phil at 9:36 AM | Comments (28)

June 4, 2007

Man eats small dog to protest Royal Family; Bon eats larger dog as counter-protest

In a recent news story, a British man ate a dog in the London streets as a way to protest the alleged mistreatment of animals by the royal family.

The protestor, Mark McGowan, set up a table streetside in downtown London and ate a Corgi, a small dog that is a favorite breed of Queen Elizabeth in response to a story that Prince Phillip, the queen's husband, had reportedly beaten a fox to death during a hunt.

Upon hearing the protest, Bon immediately offered his support of the royal family by eating a much larger dog, a German Shepherd.

Bon lauded the Prince's hunting tactics and vowed to top whatever animal McGowan would eat in the future should further protests arise.

Posted by Phil at 9:04 AM | Comments (9)