November 22, 2006
From the Playaz' family to yours
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
Posted by Phil at 9:57 AM | Comments (30)
October 3, 2006
China applauds Bon's "Animal Olympics" before feasting on animals
Chinese dignitaries and audience members were treated to a special show of animal athleticism by Bon and the Playaz, featuring weight-lifting chimpanzees, bear gymnastics, and zebra fighting.
Chinese officials in attendance applauded Bon's extravaganza before joining the Playaz at a special invitation dinner where they feasted on the very animals who performed the amazing feats earlier in the day.
The event was nearly marred when Bon got into an altercation with a kangaroo - which was thought to be a boxing exhibition by the patrons in attendance - but was actually a disagreement over the kangaroo's refusal to participate in the long jump competition, which ultimately led to blows between Bon and the kangaroo.
Bon stated that he also wanted to show to the world that he only serves the fittest animals at his restaurants, and not necessarily the fattest or slowest as may have been insinuated by the Elizabeth Taylor article below.
There were several protesters outside the event, outraged by what they called "cruelty to animals". Chinese citizens who were in attendance called the protests "ironic".
Posted by Phil at 9:02 AM | Comments (74)
May 21, 2006
Playaz unveil new line of dog food
The Playaz announced their new line of dog food that will be hitting the shelves on Monday.
The Playaz new dog food consists only of 100% pure championship thoroughbred horse. No rice, no cereal.
The Playaz understand that you love your pet, and will settle for nothing less for your dog than the former Kentucky Derby winner, just as the Playaz do.
So go out and pick up a bag of "Barbaro Chow" for your dog at your local store!
Posted by Phil at 8:36 AM | Comments (18)
April 28, 2006
Bon prepares delicious 'Black Bear' feast in celebration of Playaz Ball anniversary
Bon captured a black bear in Woodstock, Georgia with his custom-made trap and nothing more than a can of sardines, to be slaughtered and served in a celebration feast to honor "playazball.com"'s one year anniversary.
Bon went all out to please guests with samplings of some of the rarest animals on earth. So rare, in fact, that those animals are now extinct thanks to the party we had.
Some of the delectables at this blowout bash included:
Antillean cave rat
Arabian gazelle
Aurochs
Barbados raccoon
Barbados rice-rat
Barbuda rice-rat
Barbuda rice-rat
Basalt plains mouse
Bavarian pine vole
Big-eared hopping mouse
Black-footed ferret
Bluebuck
Blunt-toothed mouse
Brazilian three-banded armadillo
Broad-faced potoroo
Buhler's rat
Bulldog rat
Canary mouse
Cayman Brac hutia
Cayman Brac nesophont
Cayman hutia
Central hare-wallaby
Central rock rat
Columbian hutia
Corozal rat
Corsican shrew
Crescent nailtail
Cuban spider monkey
Curaçao giant rice rat
Curaçao sloth
Curio's giant rat
Dark flying fox
Darling Downs hopping mouse
Darwin's Galapagos mouse
Desert bandicoot
Desert rat-kangaroo
Dusky flying fox
Eastern hare-wallaby
Emperor rat
Falkland Islands dog
Fernandina Galapagos mouse
Field's mouse
Flat-headed myotis
Flores cave rat
Flores long-nosed rat
Florida naked-tailed rat
Giant deer mouse
Goliath white-toothed shrew
Grand Cayman hutia
Atlantic gray whale
Great hopping mouse
Great key mouse
Grooved-toothed forest mouse
Guadalcanal rat
Guam flying fox
Gulf of California woodrat
Gull Island vole
Hairy-eared dwarf lemur
Haitian edible rat
Hensel's field mouse
Ilin bushy-tailed cloud rat
Imposter hutia
Indefatigable Galapagos mouse
Insular cave rat
Jamaica rice-rat
Jamaican monkey
Jamaican pallid flower bat
Large Corsican field vole
Large funnel-eared bat
Large ghost faced bat
Large Palau flying fox
Large sloth lemur
Large-eared tenrec
Lava mouse
Lemke's hutia
Lesser bilby
Lesser Cuban nesophont
Lesser stick-nest rat
Lesser yellow bat
Long-tailed hopping mouse
long-nosed potoroo
Lord Howe Island bat
Maclear's rat
Madagascan pygmy hippopotamus; common Malagasy hippo
Malagasy dwarf hippopotamus
Marcano's solenodon
Marianas flying fox
Martinique giant rice-rat
Miller's myotis
Montane hutia
Mummy shrew
Negros naked-backed fruit bat
Nelson's rice-rat
Nendo tube-nosed fruit bat
New Guinea big-eared bat
New Zealand greater short-tailed bat
Old fig-eating bat
Omilteme cottontail
Oriente cave rat
Osborn's key mouse
Pemberton's deer mouse
Philippine fruit bat
Pigfooted bandicoot
Poey's pallid flower bat
Pristine mustached bat
Przewalski's horse
Puerto Rican flower bat
Puerto Rican hutia
Puerto Rican plate-toothed mouse
Puerto Rican sloth
Queen of Sheba's gazelle
Rabida Galapagos mouse
Red fruit bat
Red gazelle
Red hairy-tailed bat
Santiago Galapagos Mouse
Sardinian pika
Saudi gazelle
Schomburgk's deer
Sea mink
Short-horned water buffalo
Short-tailed hopping mouse
Small key mouse
Southeastern pocket gopher
St. Lucia giant rice-rat
St. Vincent pygmy rice-rat
Standing's hippo
Steller's sea cow
Sturdee's Bonin pipistrelle
Swan Island hutia
Tanzania woolly bat
Tasmanian bettong
Thylacine; Tasmanian wolf
Toolache wallaby
Torre's cave rat
Tretretretre
Verhoeven's giant tree rat
Vespucci's rat
Victorious nesophont
Vietnam warty pig
West Indian monk seal
West Indian porcupine
Western Cuban nesophont
Western palm squirrel
and
White-footed rabbit-rat
Mmm, mm!! Thanks, Bon!
2:55 pm Update: Bon back at work
Posted by Phil at 10:05 AM | Comments (123)
February 27, 2006
Bon to serve as caterer to new Georgia Aquarium
Bon's culinary services have been retained by the new $200 million Georgia Aquarium to serve as their caterer for banquets, private parties, and receptions.
The Georgia Aquarium boasts the beautiful "Ocean's Ballroom", which has the capacity to serve a sit-down dinner for as many as 1,000 people.
The Ocean's Ballroom is flanked by a viewing window of the Aquarium's sub-aquatic habitat, where patrons may specifically choose which marine life they would like to eat that particular evening.
At the behest of smaller private parties, Bon will swim into the tank, identify the fish or mammal chosen and personally kill the selected fish before cleaning it and preparing it for the guest's supper.
In the event of very large groups, Bon will personally select a tank to dynamite for that evening's fare and will serve whatever is blown out of the water or floats to the surface.
So please, next time you are in Atlanta, don't forget to stop by the World's Largest Aquarium, the Georgia Aquarium. Tell them the Playaz sent you, and that you wouldn't mind a little Baluga Whale courtesy of Bon himself! ;)
Posted by Phil at 1:13 PM | Comments (27)
January 6, 2006
Kenny & Bon to open restaurant chain together
While reading our friend Washington Cube's blog the other day, Cube had pointed out a Kenny Rogers Roasters that had closed down on Route 1 in Washington D.C.
I had to let her know that Kenny was no longer involved with "KRR", and that the franchise was now owned by Nathan's Famous Corporation.
What I could not tell her, until now, is that Kenny and Bon are going into business together to open a Playaz-backed restaurant chain. Kenny and Bon will capitalize on the name of the old restaurant, except it will now be simply known as "Kenny & Bon's Roasters".
The concept has changed slightly. The old Kenny Rogers Roasters was known for it's chicken. The new restaurants will serve Bon's fresh kill of the day. Chicken may still be on the menu, but goose will now be the foul of choice at these establishments.
Below is a sample of the menu Bon has prepared:
Roasted Goose (bludgeoned for tenderness)
Pickled Bream
Bass Burgers
Whale Steaks
Beaver Stew
Bald Eagle (blackened or charbroiled)
Many other selections of wild game and assorted delights
So please keep your eyes open for this new establishment, coming soon!
Per Cookie's request, for a limited time only, there will be several "Kenny & Bon Roasters" shirts available.
Posted by Phil at 8:41 AM | Comments (31) | TrackBack
September 12, 2005
Playaz Cookbook
With apologies to world renown and faithful reader, Washington D.C.'s
Chef, the Playaz present to you Bon's famous 'Anti-freeze Sandwiches' for geese:
Ingredients (serves 5-10 geese):
5 slices of white bread
1 gallon of Texaco brand anti-freeze
Ziploc baggie
Steps:
- Take slices of white bread, tear apart and roll into quarter-size balls.
- Drop bread balls into Ziploc baggie.
- At
this point, pour in your Texaco anti-freeze, as much or as little as
you like. Bon prefers to pour a liberal amount to be sure the balls are
tasty when ingested by geese. - Marinate bread balls in anti-freeze until fully absorbed into the bread.
- You are now ready to serve.
Place
the anti-freeze soaked bread balls with a garnish of your choice at the
lakeside bank of your choosing, then "bon" appetit! After the geese
that are ruining your property have devoured these delectable delights,
they will die within a few days.
Well, there you have it. I'm sure your geese will enjoy these treats, and Bon promises you will never be bothered by them again.
Posted by Phil at 10:40 PM | Comments (65)