May 31, 2006
Tac administers comet dust-laced shake to Pat Robertson, giving him 'strength of a full-grown Clydesdale'
Tac proclaims comet dust gave "700 Club" host Pat Robertson the strength of a raging Clydesdale horse capable of leg pressing 2,000 lbs.
A magic shake, containing protein, flaxseed oil, and enough comet dust to cause a 73 year old man to smash through a brick wall, gave Robertson the strength to achieve the age-defying feat.
Tac has cured Wilford Brimley of diabetes with comet dust. Comet dust was also involved in the tragic death of Don Knotts.
Posted by Phil at 2:36 PM | Comments (10)
May 30, 2006
Playaz replace water supply with delicious Sunny Delight
5/31: Our servers/comments were down most of yesterday, but are back up and running today. Sorry for the inconvenience.
This weekend, we decided to replace the earth's water system with deliciously refreshing Sunny Delight.
With the turn of a valve, we dumped millions of gallons into area streams, rivers, lakes, and tributaries of the fruit flavored beverage that will alter the hydrologic cycle. Soon, the Sunny D will evaporate into the air forming tangy, vitamin C filled clouds that will rain down Sunny Delight eventually replacing what we know now as "water". Imagine...you will have "Sunny D" running through your taps!
We feel that water is rather bland tasting, and decided to utilize our extensive resources to dump Sunny D into area reservoirs and water systems to the delight of billions of people across the globe (along with a nice kick-back from the Sunny Delight Beverage Corporation :)).
Here is what the new water cycle will look like:
So enjoy a refreshing summer - expect fall and winter months to feature "Baja", and for spring, "Intense Sport" flavors!
Posted by Phil at 9:05 AM | Comments (23)
May 2, 2006
The Playaz guide to a healthy diet
Many people ask us, "Playaz, how do you stay so fit, trim, and healthy in appearance?"
The answer is, we eat a specially planned and balanced diet. No, not the daily recommendations given to you by the Food & Drug Administration. I'm talking about a regimented Playaz Diet, guided by our very own Food Pyramid. Take a look:
We find that this diet helps keep the Playaz going around the clock. Whatever calories are built up from the delicious cheetos and doughnuts are soon burned off by the mini-whites and cocaine. And, you will note that the Playaz recommend a liberal scattering of comet dust throughout your day.
Why risk eating vegetables that only put you at risk to the pesticides farmers use? And the cheetos will provide you with all the 'dairy' you need.
So please, stay healthy, America. The Playaz' way.
Posted by Phil at 8:59 AM | Comments (21)