August 15, 2009
Seducing Seka, Pt. 2
In a continuation of "Seducing Seka, Pt. 1", Tac mixes sexual innuendo with ultimate fighting jargon in his attempt to seduce the famous 70's porn actress.
Posted by Phil at 9:51 PM
July 4, 2009
"Huff Night" excerpts from Playaz Ball 2007
More never-before-seen video from 2007, where Phil and Bon briefly discuss Wayne's mysterious disappearance just prior to "Huff Night", a Playaz Ball tradition.
Posted by Phil at 9:50 PM
June 21, 2009
The Seduction of Seka, Pt. 1
Never before seen footage from Playaz Ball 2007, the Playaz become aroused after stumbling across 70s & 80s porn actress Seka's website. Unbeknownst to each other, the Playaz leave multiple seductive phone messages to Seka (inspired by their mentors in the art of the seductive voice mail, Kenny Rogers and Pat O'Brien).
Posted by Phil at 3:58 PM
May 21, 2008
Judge not, lest Tac judge ye
Since I never finished the 2007 Playaz Ball DVD, this video is but an excerpt from that crazy weekend.
To give you some context, this portion of Playaz Ball was filmed just subsequent to our (attempted) phone calls to "Seka" (noted adult film star from the 70s & 80s) and prior to "Huff Night" - a celebratory evening of paint huffing that we enjoy every year.
Posted by Phil at 9:51 AM
August 19, 2007
Playaz Ball 2007 DVD: Sneak Peek
Posted by Phil at 8:25 PM
August 11, 2007
Playaz Ball DVD in production
I am going to be away for a few days while I finalize the annual Playaz Ball DVD. I think we are submitting this one to Cannes.
As usual, if you'd like me to send you a copy I'd be glad to do it - just email me an address of where to send it.
To entertain you in the meantime, please feel free to peruse these internet delights.
* Lookie, lookie, lookie...here comes someone we used to know who's now blogging again.
* If you want to know what my sense of humor would be like if it were normal, go read this blog. Better hurry, I think he's closing shop.
* He already has.
* Hilarious video of a dog
* Letter To America host Jett Loe has helped launch a new website called ConstantComedy: Live.
Posted by Phil at 10:51 AM
August 8, 2007
Playaz Ball 2007 - Phil begrudgingly takes time to greet fans
As is customarily the case at Playaz Ball, it is very difficult to have a moment to ourselves without being stopped by fans or chased by the paparazzi.
While out on the beach marking the locations of our buried drugs as I do each year, I was stopped by these curious youngsters who wanted the chance to say hello to a hero.
The male's name is 'Phil' - easy enough to remember as I have already filed a trademark infringement suit.
The ladies' names I do not recall offhand - Abby? Ally? and the other one. I don't know if this guy had two girlfriends or what the situation was, but my kangol is off to him. They were a bit 'stand off-ish', perhaps because I invited them to our place to partake in our drugs and hookers.
Posted by Phil at 10:11 AM
August 7, 2007
From the Financial Wizard
To: Mr. Sheriff
From: Phil Braun
We have just broken free from the clutches of Chris Hansen, who swarmed around us like an angry hornet for a fortnight. Fortnately, we were able to plant the cocaine at his NBC Studios out of the watchful eyes of his cameras, as you suggested.
We have sent our counsel Wayne to your country to clear the air. He should have arrived at your airport.
Phil
To: Phil Braun
From: Sheriff Ahmed
Subject: FROM THE FINANCIAL WIZARD
Dear Phil,
Thanks for calling my business interested attention and the good news therein.You are now victorious by breaking the clutches of Chris Hansen.
however your mail indicated that you have sent Wayne as delegate representative/councel down here yesterday been Sunday to come and clear the air or in a plain language to see me( Mr.Sheriff Ahmed) in person as th one to work with you perfectly for too much money,because as a G niggers too much more money are for us.
Kindly give me the number to contact him immediately and urgently in the hotel and also include the hotel name and the room number or his extension number.
Now believe me the financial wizard,cash success is achieved,however there are many more financial access to open up.
I await your swift response now.
Best Regards,
Mr.Sheriff.
(2 DAYS LATER)
Dear Phil,
I hope Mr.Wayne is presently down here.so what is delaying again from your cooperation with me to go and see him for the entire business discussion,however i requested the best means and access to go and meet with him for discussion of one and one to put business upward in practical.
I don't believe in delay for it id denial and not fact of the matter.Wise saying says,seeing is believing.
I await your swift response at the earliest.
Best Regards,
Mr.Sheriff.
To: Mr. Sheriff
From: Phil Braun
Mr Sheriff -
I am sorry. I have been unconscious as last evening was "Huff Night" at Playaz Ball - a yearly festival of paint huffing that the Playaz partake in.
Wayne is at the Golden Tulip hotel in Accra. Unfortunately, Wayne's Motorola briefcase telephone does not seem to work in your country. Here is his photo if you wish to seek out his presence.
Phil
Dear Phil,
Thanks for given me the sincere informations regarding the arrival of Mr.wayne in Accra here,however lodging at the Golden Tulip hotel,am seriously wishing to seek out his presence.I have seen his photo pictire
Accordingly Kindly provide me his room number and the Golden Tulip hotel number,it will be more well and best for you
to ask the room number and the hotel number from him at this very moment to enable us to commence money making business meeting immediately,seeing and comfirming your delegate person( Mr.Wayne)will make me believing, and proof
you honest and real regarding all our too much money making correspondences.
I expect the needed hotel infos to meet with Mr.Wayne immediately.
Best Regards,
Mr.Sheriff.
------
Dear Phil,
Your mail response does not speak to me the fact. I have been to the Golden Tulip hotel yesterday and was very serious to meet with Mr.Wayne, however when approach the receptionist and made them know that am after Mr. Wayne then they take their time to go through their computer for such name but they did not found any name like Wayne and they proceed in asking me the country he came from and the company that sent him, then I respond that he came from America and was sent by an INCOPORATION ORGANIZATION, thereafter they ask me to contact the person through any communication means to ask him the name he used to lodge in the hotel to enable make the situation easy for me to see him, if actually he is in the hotel.
So in this matter you have to act immediately regarding the easy and available means to see him. Now that he is in the hotel there is no available link or access for me to meet with him because he lodged in the Golden Tulip Hotel with another name.
Kindly provide me with his new name in the Golden Tulip Hotel, hotel room number and the hotel room phone number to easy and enable me to meet with him today as his Motorola briefcase telephone does not seem to work in Ghana. Definitely as one of the honorable hotel in Accra, they are update with hotel facilities and numbers to connect to any of their hotel rooms.
Take this from me having a meeting, putting a challenge or business trial is a point of tracking financial success. Give to me proof motivations and you will realize my sensible success in progress.
I expect the needed hotel links to meet with Mr. Wayne immediately.
Best Regards,
Mr. Sheriff.
Posted by Phil at 10:42 AM
August 5, 2007
Playaz Ball 2007 - "Huff Night"
Posted by Phil at 9:01 PM
August 4, 2007
"It's Incredible!"
Posted by Phil at 9:09 PM
August 3, 2007
Free Base/Meth Lab/Pyrotechnic mishap ignites Phil on fire first night of Playaz Ball
Hair and body covered in acetone, drano, and other flammable liquids and with the air heavy with noxious fumes from the Playaz active methamphetamine lab, while free-basing comet dust during the Playaz annual fireworks display, Phil caught on fire for the first day of Playaz Ball.
Rushed to the hospital, Phil was treated for his severe burns and insisted on being released shortly thereafter to resume activities ongoing at Playaz Ball.
"Tomorrow night is 'Huff Night', and I'm certainly not going to miss that," Phil was quoted as saying.
The Playaz are concerned that the burns will also ignite Phil's addictive nature, causing him to spiral into excessive plastic surgery. "We're afraid Phil will over-do it. He was talking about bleaching his skin following his treatment. I mean, it's like he wants to be really white or something," Guv'na commented.
Meanwhile, Wayne remains missing from Playaz Ball. Wayne was sent on a diplomatic mission to negotiate with Mr. Sheriff prior to departure to PB, while also trying to secure Mr. Sheriff's salary to help pay for Playaz Ball. Wayne did not return, and the Playaz left for their headquarters on Wednesday.
"Playaz Ball waits for no one," the Playaz said.
Posted by Phil at 9:48 AM
August 2, 2007
Posted by Phil at 11:35 PM
Playaz Ball, sweet Playaz Ball
Posted by Phil at 12:04 PM
August 1, 2007
Dear Phil,
Is a big pain and bitter feelings to me that you take my special and unique business wise for granted because i call it a real and fact business to begin with you.
Listen and listen carefully iam a business and deal master and king.I run things,things don't run me.I understand from business perspectives that you have concluded to have my position in you company with Mr.Mike.
I asure you that if mike can even provide to you all your requirements he can not control or pilot business deal successfully than me to earn too much money out it.
Do you have any good news for me regarding to work with you?
Am highly disappointed in you because you let me loose focus and big ambitions.since two weeks now am not in a happy mood at all because of the condition you have putting me.
Am a first grade client catcher in any business deal and i will follow it up to perfect end.
I await your earliest response.
Bset Regards,
Mr.Sheriff.
Posted by Phil at 10:34 AM
July 31, 2007
Posted by Phil at 8:50 AM
July 30, 2007
Posted by Phil at 9:24 AM
July 26, 2007
Mary Worth
In honor of one of my favorite bloggers, who doesn't blog much anymore.....so I stole this idea from her.....thanx, Cube!
Posted by Phil at 9:48 AM
July 5, 2007
Playaz commute Libby's prison term so as not to miss Playaz Ball
Under the direction of legal counsel Wayne, President Bush commuted the prison sentence of I. "Scooter" Libby so that he would "not have to miss Playaz Ball".
The 30 month prison term would have caused the former Cheney Chief of Staff to miss not only the '07 Playaz Ball, but also '08 and possibly '09 as well.
"The Playaz convinced me that the sentence was too harsh for Mr. Libby," said Bush. "No man should be expected to miss one Playaz Ball, let alone two or three."
The Playaz met with Bush earlier this week and insisted the President commute the sentence, saying they needed someone to "answer the phones, in case one of our wives calls."
Posted by Phil at 8:38 AM
June 25, 2007
In just 5 short weeks...
We'll be taking you to Pleasuretown...
Posted by Phil at 8:53 AM
May 23, 2007
Booking entertainment for Playaz Ball not as easy as it sounds
A partial list of entertainers that have appeared at previous Playaz Balls:
Don Knotts
Ray Stevens
Jerry Clower
The Pope
Roy Clark
Johnny Bench
Nipsey Russell
Dolly Parton
Now, one would think entertainers would be beating down our doors to perform for us. Not necessarily so. As you can see, we only book big acts - and on rare occassions there are conflicting schedules.
Recently I attempted to book reknown stuntman Rod Kimble.
We discovered Rod through a website set up by Rod's half-brother Kevin Powell. (www.stuntmanforever.com)
To: Kevin Powell (k_powell@rodkimblestuntmanforever.com)
From: Phil Braun
Subj: Booking for Rod Kimble
Dear Kevin,
We would like to discuss booking your half-brother Rod (Kimble) for our upcoming event, "Playaz Ball". The dates are August 2nd - 5th of this year. We would welcome Rod on any of these dates. We are also prepared to offer Rod our couch to sleep on should he require an overnight stay. Possibly even a sandwich.
We would like for Rod to have a set of prepared stunts to perform for us on the date of his choosing (provided it is between Aug 2nd -5th). There will be 5 of us in attendance.
"Playaz Ball" is located at our house (on the beach) in Charleston, South Carolina.
Please let us know if Rod is available on these dates and what we can arrange.
I look forward to hearing from you Kevin (Powell).
sincerely,
Phil Braun
from: Kevin Powell (kevinpowelljams@gmail.com)
to: playazball@gmail.com
date May 23, 2007 1:37 PM
subject: Hello Phil, it's Kevin Powell from Rod Kimble's website that I set up for him!
Dear Philip,
Hello! This is Kevin Powell; Rod Kimble's brother/team manager! Thank
you very much for being interested in Rod as a stuntman and for
visiting the website. Unfortunately, Rod has an event planned for
August 3rd and will not be able to attend the "Playazball"! I wanted
to give you a short list of things that we are working on stunt-wise
and maybe that will get you pumped up for some future stunts/next
year's ball!:
ROD KIMBLE STUNTS FOR PERFORMANCE
1) 10 foot wheelie
2) 3 foot launch ramp jump over TRASH CAN (on side only)
3) 5 foot ramp jump over nothing onto landing ramp (not perfected)
4) Fire-walking (not perfected)
5) Fire-eating (not perfected)
6) Shark Manipulation*
I have discussed with Rod and he is willing to perform any of the above listed stunts even in the testing phase.
**PLEASE BE AWARE WE DO NOT HAVE INSURANCE ANY DAMAGE TO PRIVATE
PROPERTY OR TO ANY PERSONS ATTENDING THE STUNT WILL NOT BE COVERED NO
EXCEPTIONS**
Thanks again and please donate to the Frank Fund as soon as we get the link fixed!
Signed, your pal - K. Powell, (Team Manager).
* 2 foot shark only.
It is unfortunate, but these things happen. If you have any ideas for entertainment at this year's Playaz Ball, I am open to any suggestions.
Posted by Phil at 3:10 PM
March 2, 2007
An inconvenient accident
At a recent press conference following the video release to announce Playaz Ball 2007, a frenzied crowd decapitated Al Gore in their unbridled excitement at the news, and tossed his head around not unlike a beach ball at a festival.
The August 2nd date was revealed by the Playaz as this year's start to Playaz Ball.
Reportedly, no one even knew Gore was in attendance at the press conference, though it is widely known he has kept his eye on the Playaz and has publicly stated they are responsible for approximately 67% of the world's greenhouse emissions.
However, the thousands of eager fans became so volatile in anticipation of the announcement, Gore inadvertently got caught up in the delirium, and in the near-violent commotion his head was removed from his body.
Coincidentally, the Playaz specifically chose the hottest time of year for this year's Playaz Ball, expecting temperatures to reach approximately 125 degrees fahrenheit.
"We also have plans to eliminate 'winter' altogether. We hate it," Wayne added.
Posted by Phil at 9:08 AM
March 1, 2007
Important Announcement
I tell it to you.
Posted by Phil at 8:48 AM
February 28, 2007
Agreement reached
Announcement coming tomorrow.
Posted by Phil at 8:58 AM