January 31, 2006
State of the Playaz Address
Last night, we held our first ever State of the Playaz Address, at our historic Headquarters in the Isle of Palms, South Carolina. The Address was held in the Kenny Rogers Caucus Room, a very large auditorium used when we are addressing our constituency.
Of course you know our day-to-day operations are held in Atlanta, but if you've never been to our Headquarters in South Carolina, it is quite a treat. Aside from the massive Kenny Rogers Caucus Room is of course our Situation Room where we handle crises and military strategy sessions, The Hall of Playaz which is a marvelous gallery of statues and paintings of the Playaz, the Rotunda, and down below is the Crypt, where the corpse of Conway Twitty is currently stored.
While I simply don't have the room to provide the actual text of the 15,000 word, 4 hour speech, I am able to provide you with the highlights of this night, along with some photos provided by Rueters and the Associated Press.
The Speech:
The speech was strong. It showed the nation our strengths, and gave you the accomplishments we have made in the past year, which includes:
- Single handedly stemmed the increase in shark attacks and stamped out the bird flu.
- Boosted the country's space program with our involvement with NASA (with assistance from Chewbacca), which recently procured the discovery of Comet Dust, a great new narcotic substance.
- Entered new words into the English language.
- Our foreign policies have lowered oil prices, halted the nuclear weapons program in North Korea, and killed a nuisance whale.
- The Playaz turned Hurricane Irene back from the U.S. coast, allowing for a successful Playaz Ball 2005.
- The Playaz handled the questioning in the Supreme Court nominations, interviewing Supreme Court nominee John Roberts, the nomination of our own Wayne, and of course, Dian Parkinson.
- Saved the life of Don Knotts.
- We are vowing to make the Playaz invulnerable. I'm not referring to oil dependency, or to homeland security, or anything of that nature. I mean literally invulnerable. Like looking into some kind of titanium endo-skeleton and super-regenerative skin tissue. Something like that.
- The focal point of our speech, and what we are probably most proud of, is that during our fiscal year for 2005 we saw increased spending by 100%. The Playaz made a promise to spend every dime we earned during that year, and we can proudly say "Mission Accomplished". We also promise to you that in the upcoming year, The Year of the Playaz, we will raise revenues to go along with even more spending.
The photos:
After the Playaz' Sergeant-at-Arms announced us, we entered a packed room and a standing ovation. The photos below give you an overview of the night's events and attendees.
A live look at CNN's coverage of the address as Kenny enters the Caucus Room
Photo of me backstage rehearsing my speech one last time
"Ladies and gentlemen, the State of the Playaz Address"
The crowd reacts to my speech
There were several very special guests in attendance, many of whom were greeted with standing ovations when introduced by the Playaz
Phil points out Kathryn in the gallery and thanks her for her tireless efforts in bringing the blogging community together as well as her work on many Happy Hours. Kathryn is seen here shaking hands with Larry Holmes and receiving a standing ovation.
Wayne receives special recognition for his work this past year as Playaz counsel, who filed 212 frivolous lawsuits on the Playaz' behalf in 2005 alone.
Laughter and applause ensues when Letter To America host Jett Loe emerges from behind the podium with a 9mm pistol. More laughter ensues when he is removed by security and beaten senseless.
Once the speech is over, the Playaz exit the auditorium while being mobbed by admirers and well-wishers.
Atlanta media mogul Kemi Lane in the foreground (left) covers the Playaz on a daily basis. See her coverage of the SOTP address on her website.
It was a truly fantastic evening, and we thank you all for your attention and support. As we've said before, we fully expect The Year of the Playaz to be something special.
Now that the SOTP is over, I will be taking a vacation - a stop over at Camp David and then on to Telluride, Colorado. I will be back next Tuesday night. Have a safe week and I'll see you when I return.
Posted by Phil at 1:07 AM | Comments (33) | TrackBack