July 24, 2008
Phil kill
Back to business. We are currently training in China, preparing for our upcoming Blog War.
Then, we disembark to Playaz Ball 2008, only 4 short weeks away.
Posted by Phil at 4:31 PM | Comments (0)
July 21, 2008
The stunning conclusion to "Fantastic Voyage"!
When we last left the Playaz, they were barrelling full-throttle to escape imminent danger after being shrunken to microscopic size and injected into Phil's body....
"Look! The colon seems to be closing!"
"This is no colon...."
"What?!"
"What was that!!?"
"By my observations it was a giant tapeworm that has been living in Phil's colon."
"But how did it get there?"
"No doubt from Phil's journey to Africa, where he must have eaten at 'Kenny & Bon's' and ordered the side dish of tapeworms. Who knew they could be parasitic? Certainly no one at the FDA or Board of Health notified me of anything. Plus, they're pretty lax in other continents I've come to find out."
"Regardless of that -- how do we kill it?"
"Have you ever seen 'Jaws'......?"
"Great shot, Tac! And great work, Playaz! I'm sure Phil is feeling better already!"
Posted by Phil at 10:55 AM | Comments (5)
July 17, 2008
The stunning conclusion to "Fantastic Voyage...."
....right after this.
This is some artwork penned by yours truly. I call it "Batman has a weakness".
Tune in next week for the stunning conclusion to "Fantastic Voyage...to Phil's colon".
Posted by Phil at 9:54 PM | Comments (2)
July 14, 2008
Fantastic Voyage, continued
We continue to follow the Playaz microscopic journey through Phil's body....
"Quarters?"
"Yes, it looks like almost $40 worth."
"By the looks of it, Phil has either accidentally, or purposefully, swallowed these while playing the drinking game."
"That's nothing. Take a look at all the coal located in the intestines that Phil swallowed over the years."
"Yes, Phil believed that by swallowing the coal he could later produce diamonds."
"Did it work?"
"Well, we haven't seen any diamonds yet.....wait....we're approaching the entry way to the colon....what's that?!"
"This way out......this way out.....stay out of the colon.....this way oouuut..."
"What in God's name is that?!!"
"I'm not sure. He seems to be issuing some kind of warning, trying to direct us elsewhere. Ignore him, and remind me to kill it later."
"Nooo!!! Don't go that-a-way!!"
"I don't see anything...do you?"
"Nothing. Except...."
"Except what?"
"Turn the ship around."
"Why?"
"Just do it!"
"Look! The colon seems to be closing!"
"This is no colon!........"
Posted by Phil at 8:29 PM | Comments (5)
July 9, 2008
Fantastic Voyage
"All systems are go. We have entered Phil's bloodstream and have maneuvered our way into the esophagus. By being shrunk to microscopic size, we'll be able to explore Phil and hopefully be able to cure him."
"Phil has not fully recovered from his previous health issues?"
"That's right. Ever since Phil left Playaz Ball 2007 to seek out Wayne's mysterious absence and headed for the African coast, we don't know what illness befell him."
"Oh yeah....what ever became of all that?"
"No time to explain now! Look, we are approaching Phil's heart."
"Dear God! It appears to be coated in melted cheese!"
"Ah yes...I believe we will find cheese coursing through Phil's veins...like a magic congealed bond that holds the very strands of life together."
"Hold on, Playaz, it appears we are getting close to the stomach. I understand Kenny is able to view us through their monitors."
"Magnificent! Just as we expected....the "doughnut caverns" we've heard so much about. It is believed Phil's stomach contains at least 24 doughnuts at any given time."
"Does he even chew them? I've never noticed."
"No. Apparently he consumes them whole. His teeth have lost all of their enamel over time, and I believe he is incapable of chewing most foods."
"What's that?!"
"Salt! Mixed with cocaine....Phil's love of all things salted, combined with copious useage of cocaine have created these pillars as the two collected within his stomach."
"Come, Playaz. We have a long journey ahead. Let us partake in this salt-cocaine pillar to give us energy...."
Posted by Phil at 9:26 PM | Comments (5)
July 7, 2008
The Incredible Shrinking Playaz
Many of you are familiar with my recent health issues that, in part, kept me from reporting to you on this blog for the better part of 8 months. I lost nearly 55 lbs., forcing me to take in my Sansabelt slacks. I have been checked by Larry Holmes. I have been prescribed comet-dust. But I have yet to recover to 100% strength.
So, the Playaz and I have opted to attack this disease, Playa-style.
A 'submarine' craft has been constructed.
As I lay sedated on this hospital bed, the miraculous will occur.
Bon, Wayne, Tac, and the Guv'na will be shrunk to microscopic size, and will then be injected directly into my bloodstream, helming the submarine craft directly to the problem source. It will surely be....
A Fantastic Voyage...to Phil's colon!
Posted by Phil at 9:19 AM | Comments (6)
June 29, 2008
Trailer #2
Posted by Phil at 9:47 PM | Comments (8)
June 26, 2008
I'm sorry.......What???
Posted by Phil at 2:42 PM | Comments (5)
June 25, 2008
God taps Wayne as legal counsel following drug arrest
It was announced that God has chosen Wayne to be His attorney after being arrested for allegedly selling cocaine in Tampa, Florida.
Wayne presents his rate of hourly services to God
God has been under investigation since April, and was arrested this past Saturday charged with several counts of possession and distribution, with additional charges levied for being within 1,000 feet of a church.
Wayne stated his Client was not guilty of these charges, and that He would be exonerated.
God is being held on $86,500 bond.
Posted by Phil at 10:10 AM | Comments (3)
June 20, 2008
...And you think you're having a bad day at work (LOL!)
Although this looks like a picture taken from a Hollywood movie, it is in fact a REAL PHOTO, taken near the South African coast during a military exercise by the British Navy.
It has been nominated by Geo as "THE photo of the year".
Please feel free to email it to all your friends.
Posted by Phil at 9:35 AM | Comments (5)
June 17, 2008
Bush pleads with Playaz to increase oil production from their personal oil rig
President Bush met with the Playaz recently at their beachfront Headquarters in Isle of Palms, South Carolina, attempting to persuade the Playaz to increase oil production from their personal oil rig situated just off the beach in front of their home.
In an effort to offset rising fuel costs, Bush specifically asked the Playaz to release approximately one million barrels a day to the general public, despite the Playaz' insistence that the oil is for personal use only.
The Playaz' oil rig, just off the shore at island resort Wild Dunes in the Isle of Palms, SC
The Playaz rig was constructed in 1976, prior to Jimmy Carter's election as President, and primarily is used to gas up their SUV's and private jets (the crude oil is refined in the Playaz' basement).
The Guv'na informed President Bush that the Playaz had very little oil they could spare. The Guv'na excused himself from the meeting, informing Bush that the Playaz were flying to nearby Charleston (roughly a 20 minute drive) for dinner. It is noted that the Playaz "carbon footprint" is roughly the size of five planets (the planets being Jupiter).
It was the second such visit by Bush, who was politely rebuffed in his first meeting as well, when Larry Holmes informed the President that he "best get out of their face".
Posted by Phil at 10:41 AM | Comments (10)
June 16, 2008
Found the following this morning.
For reference, go here and here.
Posted by Phil at 9:32 AM | Comments (6)
Playaz' YouTube Channel
